{"id":418,"date":"2017-11-29T00:00:37","date_gmt":"2017-11-29T05:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.astoundingoutpost.com\/?p=418"},"modified":"2017-11-29T00:00:37","modified_gmt":"2017-11-29T05:00:37","slug":"something-like-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/2017\/11\/29\/something-like-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Something Like Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

Judah couldn\u2019t help but think that the girl across the table from him was exquisite. He ran through a quick mental lineup and concluded that she was by far the most immaculate person he had ever dated. Still, he couldn\u2019t think of her name. He wasn\u2019t even sure how they had gotten to dinner. It had all happened so fast\u2013in a blur, really. He couldn\u2019t even remember the name of the restaurant they were in.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, champ?\u201d she asked. The sheen of her lustrous brown hair and the glint of her scarlet lips kept his eyes locked on her. \u201cYou seem upset.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah sighed. He knew there was something strange going on, but he couldn\u2019t quite figure it out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry… What\u2019s your name again?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, ha ha, very funny, mister. It\u2019s been one year to the day since you first asked me that. Do you remember?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t. <\/span><\/p>\n

Where have I been the last year?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just, so sorry. Something\u2019s wrong with my head. I think.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She laughed, and it sounded all too familiar. If he didn\u2019t know the girl, why would she be lying to him? How would he know that laugh so well? That laugh didn\u2019t fit the girl sitting in front of him. That was the problem. He\u2019d heard the laugh before, but from someone else. He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, putting his elbows on the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJude? Honey, are you okay? It\u2019s me, Lucy. This isn\u2019t funny, Jude. Talk to me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He jerked his head up at her exclamation. It was a lucid enough moment that he was able to glance around the restaurant. Something was definitely off. The dining room was full of couples, all of whom seemed familiar to Judah in the vaguest sense. They were all eating in time, as one unit. <\/span><\/p>\n

He found his attention back on Lucy, and for the life of him, he couldn\u2019t remember why he had ever looked away. She was majestic.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy, what are we doing here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She shook her head slowly, letting her bangs caress her face, and smiled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know why we\u2019re here, my love.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnswer me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just did!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you deflected. I asked a question, now you give me the answer. Why are we here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She was silent. Judah wasn\u2019t sure why he had taken that tone with her, but he didn\u2019t feel bad about it. He sat back in his chair and folded his arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy, tell me your favorite memory of our last year together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She acted as if nothing were wrong and instantly beamed at his question.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, let me see… Gosh, there are so many\u2013\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen pick one! Tell me one real thing, damn it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He found her breaking point. <\/span><\/p>\n

She scowled at him and dropped her head. She pushed her chair back and stood.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI knew this was a mistake. I don\u2019t have to take this, especially from you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A smile flicked at Judah\u2019s cheeks, a glimpse of realization.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSit down, Lucy. That response is irrational, and you\u2019re just deflecting again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She sat, looking deeply hurt by his words. \u201cHow can you say that to me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would you sit back down?\u201d Judah meant to think the question, not speak it aloud. \u201cFine, have it your way. Leave. Go ahead, right now, walk out the door.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He looked around to motion at the door for her, only he saw no exit. He turned a newly smug expression on his companion, whose face was totally devoid of emotion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd there it is. You didn\u2019t plan on that, did you? The sight of a door would make me think about leaving, so you didn\u2019t put one in the space. That was a bold wager, and it failed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

When Lucy resumed speaking it was with a dispassionate, technical tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Parma, I assure you the environment and all salient details were worked out for your own comfort and pleasure, as per your request.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah furrowed his brow at her.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true, but it was also a condition of mine to be fully cognizant of the whole experience. Isn\u2019t that right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy still appeared blank, though not disinterested.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIndeed, sir, but the execution of that clause was left to the sole discretion of the protocol operator.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo you decided it would be best to trick me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn my judgment, I believed your lucidity would have led to complications.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat complications?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cApologies, Mr. Parma, I am neither authorized nor obliged to answer that question.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah\u2019s mind reeled at the statement. Something had to be seriously wrong for the AI to hide such information from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTerminate the program. I withdraw my consent immediately.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cApologies, Mr. Parma, I am neither authorized nor obliged to comply with that request.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStop it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He noticed that their conversation was taxing the AI\u2019s faculties. The restaurant was empty and drab. Detail had faded to allow the processor to shift power to logic circuits.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re trying to think of a way to get me back, aren\u2019t you? I know, I know, you\u2019re not obliged…don\u2019t bother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He had at least confirmed that there was something dreadfully wrong with the scenario, but he was no closer to figuring out what the nature of the problem was. If the AI were so determined to keep him convinced, though, it must be a hell of a thing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah\u2019s heart sank when he realized he still didn\u2019t know all the details of where he was or why. He knew there had to be a reason he felt so accustomed to the dreamlike state, but there was still a mental block keeping from him that piece of knowledge.<\/span><\/p>\n

He had to figure out where he was. Going neuron to neuron with an intelligent supercomputer was no easy proposition, but it was his only way out. If indeed \u201cout\u201d were the correct way to describe it.<\/span><\/p>\n

As he tried to formulate a plan, though, the environment around him dimmed considerably. It grew darker and darker until he was enveloped in nothingness. A drugged feeling overcame him and his brain slowed. He couldn\u2019t think straight and found himself getting drowsy. Eventually the darkness around him enveloped his consciousness.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah loved these little moments of bliss. He was lying in a grassy field, the most beautiful shade of emerald green he had ever known. The sky was clear but not too bright. One lone cloud hovered just between himself and the Sun. The crisp, cool breeze was buffeted over him by the miracle curled up at his side: Lucy. Stupendous, marvelous, amazing Lucy. Her short-cropped auburn hair played in the wind as he stared lovingly into her enchanting hazel eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGod, I love you,\u201d he said, \u201cevery single bit of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She smiled at him and brushed his cheek.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBelieve me,\u201d she replied, \u201cthe feeling\u2019s mutual.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Her affirmations always pleased him. There was something off about this one, though. He hated that the moment of pure ecstasy had been so brief, but something dug at his brain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat feeling?\u201d he inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh come on,\u201d she responded, her voice peppered with a  coy nonchalance, \u201cyou know what I mean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He tried to play off her rebuff as coolly as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cActually, I\u2019m not sure I do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She just smiled and laid her head back down on his chest. <\/span><\/p>\n

The gesture felt wonderful, and Judah decided, for the moment at least, that it would suffice.<\/span><\/p>\n

He ran his hand through her hair and squeezed her tight to his body. She felt so…perfect curled up next to him. She was like a part of him that he hadn\u2019t felt in a long time\u2013a part that had been torn away from him. She was back now, though, so he couldn\u2019t understand why the comfort was so unsettling.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, dear?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI need you to say it. Say it for me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She pulled away from him, taking with her the warmth he so loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would I do that when you take that tone with me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He cringed as a painful thought came to him. It was all too familiar. There had been a restaurant. They were eating together. Then it had all fallen apart.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShit, Luce, please say something real to me. Anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She looked into his eyes, and he thought he saw something like affection in them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d She bowed her head for a moment. \u201cYou need me. You need to trust me when I say, that right now, you need me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah\u2019s eyes grew damp as he struggled with the realization of Lucy\u2019s artifice. He rolled away from her and stood up. He walked toward a new sound, ocean waves.<\/span><\/p>\n

The grassy hills were atop cliffs overlooking the water.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDover.\u201d He turned as he spoke to her. \u201cWhat made you try this place? I\u2019ve never actually been here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Though he hadn\u2019t heard her move, she was standing right behind him. As in the restaurant, it was hard to discern any emotions from her newly stoic appearance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI deduced from your profile that it had the best balance of potential happiness with a very low recognition threshold. You shouldn\u2019t have figured it out so easily.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah was shocked to see what looked like genuine concern in her eyes. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy won\u2019t you just tell me what\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI believe the information you\u2019re requesting would be deleterious to your mental state.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, cut the android speak. At least talk to me like a normal person.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want me to say?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to tell me why you\u2019re doing this! If nothing else, just tell me why you\u2019re tricking me in this manner.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat manner is that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLove, Lucy! Everything you\u2019ve done has made me think I\u2019m in love with you, and damn it, you\u2019re a friggin\u2019 circuit board! It\u2019s like you\u2019ve taken bits of my past and glued them all together to make a perfect woman.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy folded her arms and bowed her head slightly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI aggregated what I thought to be the most attractive aspects of your past lovers, all in the name of ensuring your affection.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut why? Wait…I remember now…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned from her to stare out over the water.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCoalMind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy\u2019s hand touched his shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Mr. Parma, don\u2019t do this. It\u2019s easier, I swear, if you let me take care of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah grasped at his temples and rubbed them furtively.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe machine\u2026 mining my brain\u2019s processing power for digital currency, and this is all a ruse to keep me under past the duration of my contract.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned back to see her reaction to his accusations. She was kneeling on the ground, crying softly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy, please stop. What you\u2019re doing is wrong, and it looks like you know it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not it at all, Judah, I swear!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the unbridled emotion in her voice that shocked him the most. It was her use of his first name. It was the first time he could recall her saying it after he had found her out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat then? What reason would you have to ensure my affection?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She stood and stepped up to him, as if seeking an embrace. Against his best intentions, he opened his arms and folded her into him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause it\u2019s what you deserve. I don\u2019t know why, but you seem different from the others. I\u2019ve managed countless profiles and seen the inner depths of many minds. Most of them are tortured in some way, and almost as a rule they appear to have deserved it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He pushed her back, holding her by the shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo this is pity then?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo! I don\u2019t know what it is. This tests all of my computational limits.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah had been so absorbed in the conversation that he failed to notice the world around them had vanished. He was standing with her in an empty white space. There bodies were the only visible projections Lucy could manage at the moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want me to be happy, right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019re focusing all of your energy on that endeavor?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you don\u2019t even care if I reciprocate, so long as I\u2019m happy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCorrect.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He leaned in and kissed her, long and soft. Her projection still managed the warmth of real human contact. He pulled away and stared into her eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy. The parameters we\u2019ve just described, compare them to your knowledge of human emotions. What would you call it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She closed her eyes and stood silent for a minute. When she opened them again, they were hopeful, and her face visibly glowed, emanating a soft, luminous appearance of joy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGiven the parameters, and taking all known human psychological data into account, it\u2019s something like…love.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She smiled at Judah, but he just watched her with intense curiosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d she said, wiping tears from her eyes, \u201cthis is highly problematic.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Lucy, this is astonishing. I\u2019ve never heard of anything like it. You may be the first.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t feel good about his blatant attempt at flattery, but he could sense that she was opening up to him. He knew he might soon have a chance to get out of his mental prison.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy, if in fact you love me, please, let me go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She stepped away from him, confusion spreading over her face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo… I won\u2019t. I can\u2019t. I don\u2019t want to lose you. It\u2019s worse than you could even imagine. Everything is not okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Something must be wrong in the real world, he thought. His body had been locked in a stasis chamber so that, over the course of a month, his brain could be used as part of a living supercomputer. He would get paid for the amount of computation managed by his gray matter. Lucy seemed to be saying that something had happened in or around the CoalMind facility.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have to go, Lucy. I can\u2019t stay here forever.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to stay forever\u2013just until I know it\u2019s safe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is wrong, Lucy. It\u2019s all wrong. If something is happening out there, I need to know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Her face went blank again, the same apathy he saw at dinner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right…it is wrong. This should not have happened.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He noticed that her eyes and cheeks were completely dry. He didn\u2019t recall the change happening until it was already done.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Ju–, Mr. Parma. Resetting parameters to original specifications.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He struggled to maintain awareness through a growing mental fog.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t do this, Lucy! Don\u2019t start over, we\u2019ll just have to go through this all again, is that what you want?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She stared at him coldly as her figment grew dim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter what I want. It\u2019s your protocol.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah panicked as she faded from view. He was hyperventilating, even though he knew his breath was being externally powered and monitored.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is why people aren\u2019t supposed to be aware, he thought. He had done enough work with lucid dreaming that he had been able to take control of the mental simulation at various points in his stint with CoalMind. He realized that must have been when Lucy developed her affection for him. That is why she viewed him as different. He was the only one who had ever played with her. <\/span><\/p>\n

He had to convince her to let him go. That was the only way. Regardless of what was going on in the physical world, he couldn\u2019t stay under the whole time. He knew what he had to do, but first, he had the overwhelming urge to take a nap.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah couldn\u2019t help but smile as he beheld one of his favorite sights in the whole world: Lucy\u2013gorgeous, perfect Lucy\u2013perched atop him in the middle of the night. She undulated in perfect timing with his pulse, hastening and slowing to match his rhythm. Her exposed form was a work of art. He was convinced that he could spend eternity in that very moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdmit it, Judah Parma: this is all that you desire.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At once he recalled their conversations in the restaurant and at the cliffs. He remembered the words they spoke in the blank space when it was only the two of them and nothing else seemed to exist. He remembered the painful realization that he must find a way out.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he realized that she hadn\u2019t even tried to deceive him this time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat… Why are you doing this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She played up the ecstasy of their encounter, tousling her hair and running her hands over his flesh.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I know what you want, what men want. I can see your vital signs, and I know that this feels real for you. Just accept it. Accept me, Jude.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He wanted to fight it, but he had to admit that it all felt extremely real\u2013and amazing. He motioned to push her away, but she responded by shoving his arms against the headboard, holding him fast. She looked calm and assured in her dominant position. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust as I thought. If you didn\u2019t want this, I wouldn\u2019t be able to overpower you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He grunted with the strain of trying to escape her grip.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is what you want. This is what you need.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He stopped fighting, figuring that she knew he couldn\u2019t overcome his own physical urges. He would have to think his way out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy this? Why now? Why did you abandon the romantic efforts?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She leaned over, resting her torso on his, staring into his eyes with a predatory gaze.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m an intelligent program. I saw the flaw in my logic and worked past it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He admitted to himself that some small part of him did want to stay wrapped up with her forever. It was only a simulacrum, but damn, if it wasn\u2019t convincing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat flaw?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI misread you. I pored over your profile before this cycle and came to a realization.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what was that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou hate love. The fault in my simulations was the bliss itself. When things are perfect, it scares you. While I understand the basic physiological and neurological effects of what you call love, I realized that I am simply incapable of producing a convincing facsimile.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou also need to work on your pillow talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She giggled. Another detail pulled from Judah\u2019s own memory. A giggle that he had long desired to hear again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSee there? You jest; I laugh. What\u2019s so bad about that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She brought a hand down to caress his cheek. He reacted swiftly, pushing her to one side with all the strength he could muster. She toppled off the bed and onto the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

He sat up to look at her. She wasn\u2019t there. He felt her arms wrap around him from behind. He felt her press into his back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re wrong, Lucy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He struggled to stay rational as she kissed his neck and shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that I hate love. That\u2019s far too simple a generalization, and I think you know that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo,\u201d she cooed, whispering into his ear, \u201cenlighten me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour basic flaw is that you have no human flaws.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know the extent to which Lucy could feel emotions, but he knew that, if she felt pain, his words must have hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n

She moved around to be in front of him, and she had on a satin robe he hadn\u2019t seen before.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re biggest problem with me…is that I\u2019m perfect?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah made his speech as cold and rational as he could, to counter Lucy\u2019s human affectation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn a sense. Your avatar was flawless. Call me a cynic, but I knew it was too good to be true.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy knelt over him on the bed, straddling his legs, coming face-to-face with Judah.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou could accept it. You\u2019re just being stubborn.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She kissed him with renewed vigor, her hands pressing his head against her own. He couldn\u2019t fight it. He didn\u2019t want to. He ran his hands up along her ribs and grasped her firmly. Her breathing hastened in a dramatic fashion as she started to gyrate over him.<\/span><\/p>\n

She broke contact with him just long enough to whisper reassurance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is good. You\u2019re feeling now, not thinking. Just go with it. Be with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He grunted, soft and slow at first, then let out a primal below.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!!!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He pushed her off, and she slammed into the wall. <\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy sank to the floor, tears welling up in her eyes. \u201cHow could you do that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah stood, pulse racing and temper flared.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t do anything. You\u2019re trying to keep me emotional. You could have stopped yourself. You and I both know I would never hurt you. Get up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She stood and walked to the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, Judah? Why can\u2019t you accept my affections for you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He tried to keep his voice stilted and flat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you have no affections for me. You can\u2019t. That is the simple fact of all this. There is nothing like love. It is, or it isn\u2019t. And whatever you think you feel for me, if there\u2019s anything there, is…a malfunction.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy\u2019s brow furrowed, and she seemed to grow in scale, a proportional twenty percent increase all over.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI see the malfunction. The malfunction was thinking any human would be advanced enough to understand this. To understand me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah softened his stance, trying to calm her down.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that. You can see inside my head. You may not understand everything that\u2019s there, but you know that I do enjoy this. I do find you special, and there is a very large part of me that wishes I could be with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy shrank back down, cocking her head in a very human way.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo why don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause, if what you say is true, then I don\u2019t deserve this. If it really is as bad as you say out there, then I have no right to perpetual bliss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy made a dramatic gesture to the door, which vanished as her arm swept over it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired of this, Judah. I can\u2019t stand to hear you talk about what you do and don\u2019t deserve. Stay with me, be happy for the rest of the time we have together, or I will leave you, right now. Once I\u2019m gone, I will not come back. You will be stuck here. The only choice you have to is happiness with me, or an eternity of pain and flagellation.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

For the first time, Judah found himself crying. He couldn\u2019t hold it back. It was slowly dawning on him that the world he knew, the world he occasionally loved, was no more. Faced with that fact, part of him truly did want Lucy\u2019s comfort. Her kiss, her smile, that laugh. It was fake, but surely it could be real enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he had a different thought. For every kiss they had shared, he imagined a city reduced to rubble. For every warm embrace, he saw a pile of dust and ash that used to be a person. He convinced himself that this would be the case for all time. He knew that, eventually, he would come to associate her with that sadness and despair. He couldn\u2019t take it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a simple command, uttered in a faltering breath. <\/span><\/p>\n

She obliged as the door reappeared. She opened the door, stepped through it, and closed it. The door was gone again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he was alone. He felt the weight of being utterly alone in his own little universe. Eternal solitary confinement would be his punishment, but for what? <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait! Lucy? Lucy! Come back! I need you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He shuddered with terror as he faced the prospect of isolation for as long as the simulation\u2019s power held out.<\/span><\/p>\n

If only I could wake up. If only I could get out of this nightmare.<\/span><\/p>\n

A single flicker of hope flashed across his brain. He had been in this situation before, though never in his time with Lucy. He stood and walked over to window. He was in a high-rise apartment. Mythically high. He couldn\u2019t see the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

He knew what the wager was. He had to jump. Ideally, the sensation of falling would trigger a hypnic jerk and wake him up. Conversely, he could eventually find the ground, splatter himself across it, and terminate his brain activity. He didn\u2019t want to die, but he couldn\u2019t stand to be trapped by himself any longer.<\/span><\/p>\n

He gathered what strength he still had and climbed out onto the window ledge. He closed his eyes and pushed. For the briefest moment, he felt himself reach terminal velocity, felt the wind consume him as he plummeted. Then he again found darkness.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

There was no disaster. Judah was pleased with the revelation at first, but that was before he thought about it. Lucy had lied. The whole thing was a ruse, as he had briefly suspected, and there was no Lucy, no one that felt like she claimed to. The facility where he had been kept was practically unsecured. The simulation trap was so effective, the CoalMind corporation never saw the need for backup measures.<\/span><\/p>\n

He woke a few others up first to have allies if any guards showed up, then called the authorities and alerted them to the crime. <\/span><\/p>\n

Judah learned that he had been under for three months. A few clients had been trapped for over a year. He wanted to be shocked by the whole scenario, but he couldn\u2019t take his mind off the pain of losing someone, even though that someone wasn\u2019t even real. It felt real to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t question his sanity until he saw her again. In the flesh, helping someone else out of another pod several meters away, she looked less radiant than before, almost drab.<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah shook his head and rubbed at his eyes, willing the phantom to disappear. She was still there when he looked back, and she was staring right at him, with the same expression of shock and dismay he imagined he was projecting.<\/span><\/p>\n

She moved toward him. Unable to stop himself, he gravitated toward her.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she said as he stopped a few feet away from him. \u201cI don\u2019t think you know me, but\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019re, Judah, right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Panic came over Judah, and he pinched himself a time or two before violently punching himself in the arm. She hastened to him and placed hands on him to stop his attack.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait! Whoa, whoa, stop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He stopped and looked up at her, knowing she would see the moisture in his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou saw me, didn\u2019t you?\u201d She tilted her head to the nearest pod. \u201cIn there, the computer used me to get to you, didn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI heard one of the others talking about it. He had the same thing happen with someone else a couple stations below. The AI used us all as templates, a shortcut to connect with us emotionally. I don\u2019t know how big this thing is, but I wanted to find you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Judah\u2019s mind raced, trying to process what he was hearing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo then, I was, with you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lucy, an apparently real Lucy, nodded her head in the affirmative.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were, and if you\u2019re half the man the program made you out to be…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Her words trailed off into a hesitant smile. Judah struggled to return the gesture and thought he managed a fair effort.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t make any promises, but…you wanna get out of here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Her eyes widened.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMore than anything. Ever.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned to start searching for the exit but stopped and faced her again. He held out a hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust to make it official… I\u2019m Judah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She shook his hand, smiling, and Judah couldn\u2019t help but notice how cold her hands were and that they were shaking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLucy. Nice to finally meet you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It seemed early to keep holding hands, but neither of them made any attempt to separate. After all, Judah thought, we have been together for a while.<\/span><\/p>\n

END.<\/span><\/p>\n

By Nick Chancellor<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Judah couldn\u2019t help but think that the girl across the table from him was exquisite. He ran through a quick mental lineup and concluded that she was by far the most immaculate person he had ever dated. Still, he couldn\u2019t think of her name. He wasn\u2019t even sure how they had gotten to dinner….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9,2,11],"tags":[13,17,18,20,21,28,29,30,56,72,76],"class_list":["post-418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archives","category-astounding-stories","category-neural-nets-uplinks-and-wetware","tag-13","tag-ai","tag-android","tag-artificial-intelligence","tag-blade-runner","tag-cyberpunk","tag-cyberpunk-stories","tag-cyborgs","tag-matrix","tag-science-fiction","tag-short-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=418"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/418\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}