{"id":550,"date":"2018-01-18T00:00:27","date_gmt":"2018-01-18T05:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.astoundingoutpost.com\/?p=550"},"modified":"2018-01-18T00:00:27","modified_gmt":"2018-01-18T05:00:27","slug":"the-great-faramouche-and-the-card-trick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/2018\/01\/18\/the-great-faramouche-and-the-card-trick\/","title":{"rendered":"The Great Faramouche and the Card Trick"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kris received a few letters this morning from friends from the Bernhold Academy of Magic. It\u2019s been two weeks now into their respective apprenticeships, and everyone was sharing how things were going. One was helping analyze magic in deep-sea rock, while at the bottom of the ocean. Another wrote back on slightly singed paper, that she was experimenting with a new type of magic her master was developing. All of these letters describing fantastical magic kept Kris quite literally spellbound when he read them. But Kris would not dare write back. Two weeks in, how could he possibly say he was just on some mundane street corner in Buffalo, New York?<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a chilly midday on the corner of Main and 23rd street. A fat man yawned. A foot taller than Kris, he was holding a grocery bag full of chips from the nearby bodega and loomed over Kris. Kris tried his best to keep his smile. He made a few missteps during his performance, and it was clear the man wanted to just leave but all that was left was the big reveal. A blue stripe backed deck of cards in hand, Kris remembered all the steps he practiced for hours on end. He flicked his wrist, bringing the card from the back of his hand to give the illusion of an appearance out of thin air. He lifted the hopefully correct card, the king of hearts, up towards to the man. \u201cNow is this your card?\u201d he tried to say but his voice cracked as he squeaked out the word, card.<\/span><\/p>\n

The man looked unimpressed. \u201cYep,\u201d he said and quickly went to leave. But Kris rushed to pick up in front of him the blue pinstripe trilby hat and grabbed the fat man\u2019s arm. \u201cIf you enjoyed the show, it would mean a lot if you\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The fat man shook him off his arm. It jiggled like a plate of jello. \u201cKid, I sat through your entire magic show! What more do you want from me!\u201d he yelled before shoving Kris\u2019s hand off and briskly walking away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris thought about lighting his bag a tiny bit on fire, but he just breathed a heavy sigh. He glanced down at the hat in his hand, quickly counting the money he had. Altogether he spent five hours out in the cold, with only a disappointing three dollars and some change to show for it. Not just that, but half a week was spent practicing the trick, getting it to a level Faramouche would approve of. Kris got incredibly frustrated. In the end what was this all for?<\/span><\/p>\n

His master had him doing card tricks when he should be in some mystical ethereal plane or deciphering mystical tomes or something with dragons! Dragons exist and yet for some inexplicable reason, Kris was here. He had enough.  <\/span><\/p>\n

Kris felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. \u201cAt this rate, we\u2019re never going to have enough for the bus,\u201d Kris turned around to see his bright blue-pinstripe suit wearing master, the great Faramouche, the self-titled greatest magician of the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

But Kris didn\u2019t bother greeting him. Kris hated how well a tall man dressed like Frank Sinatra could sneak up on someone. \u201cWhere have you been?\u201d Kris asked, his anger causing his voice to crack again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche raised his hands in mock defense. \u201cCalm down there tiger,\u201d Faramouche pinched the money out of the hat, leaving the question unanswered. \u201cThere seems to be enough for one bus ticket to the Holiday Inn,\u201d he put the money into his suit pocket. \u201cSo I guess I\u2019ll be heading over now by myself,\u201d Faramouche joked. <\/span><\/p>\n

There may have been a point where he would have cracked a polite smile out of respect, but Kris frowned. Things had to change. He threw the hat onto the ground.\u201cI\u2019m sick of standing out here in the cold, looking like a clueless idiot!\u201d he yelled. <\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche bent down and picked his hat off the ground. \u201cI think the correct term would be a magician\u2019s apprentice,\u201d he dusted off his trilby and positioned it slightly off-kilter on his head. \u201dMy apprentice to be exact,\u201d he snapped back with a smirk on his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris threw his arms up. \u201cMaybe if you were an actual magician! But all we\u2019ve been doing is traveling state to state performing tricks! I\u2019m tired of holding your jacket and hat while you perform. I\u2019m tired of these card tricks. And I\u2019m tired of not learning actual magic,\u201d he screamed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche just calmly shrugged. \u201cAll in good time, young grasshopper,\u201d he said much to the chagrin of Kris.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m beginning to think that you don\u2019t actually know magic,\u201d Kris challenged.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche responded by reaching over to Kris\u2019s ear and pulling a quarter. He grinned a toothy smile. \u201cThis is magic.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUgh!\u201d groaned Kris.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe we should go over the lesson again. Now Kris,\u201d Faramouche made a pensive face, \u201cwhat is the building block of a good trick?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMisdirection,\u201d Kris said exasperatedly. This had been drilled into him for hours. He was tired of Faramouche playing games with him. \u201cAt least tell me why you\u2019ve been gone for the last five hours!\u201d Kris yelled, hoping for any kind of clear answer from Faramouche.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche smiled slyly, a smile Kris knew meant unneeded melodrama. Unbuttoning his jacket, he grabbed the right corner. \u201cAre you prepared? Are you ready for it? Can you handle it?\u201d Faramouche put on a skeptical face and raised an eyebrow.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris didn\u2019t answer. He just wanted Faramouche to finally get to the point. Whipping the right side out, Faramouche showed the silk inside. His hand went to the pocket, and slowly he began to draw it out.<\/span><\/p>\n

Without noticing, Kris was leaning in to get a closer look. With a flourish, Faramouche revealed what seemed to be another playing card.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d Kris said in disbelief. \u201cYou left me alone for five hours for a playing card!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Annoyingly Faramouche shoved his other hand in front of Kris. \u201cNo, no, no, my dear apprentice,\u201d Faramouche waved his pointer finger back and forth. \u201cLike with all magic, things are not as they seem. This so-called playing card is a result of a four-year-long search. High and low I looked, searching every nook and cranny of the dirty magic underworld.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Throughout his apprenticeship, Kris realized more and more Faramouche\u2019s habit for theatrical monologuing. And how much he disliked it. He was about to make the point that this was Buffalo. What magic underworld? But this was the first time, he seemed to be talking about magic. So despite wanting to, Kris wasn\u2019t going to interrupt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Yes. It has been a truly harrowing quest of the highest difficulty. But now, finally, here it is!\u201d Faramouche raised the card up into the air in triumph.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris couldn\u2019t help but get curious. He looked up at the card when a question suddenly hit him. \u201cBut what does it do?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then the usually quick-mouthed Faramouche faltered. His arm lowered and he quickly reinserted the card back into his jacket pocket. \u201cSorry. Uh, trade secret,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat! But aren\u2019t I your apprentice?\u201d Kris said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche buttoned his jacket. \u201cLook kid. It\u2019d be too dangerous to tell you. You just aren\u2019t ready to know,\u201d he explained.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris couldn\u2019t accept that as an answer. He spent countless days in the library at the Academy. \u201cThen when am I going to be ready? How much longer do I have to do this?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche frowned. Kris could tell Faramouche had enough of the questions. \u201cHowever long I tell you, Kris,\u201d Faramouche stated. \u201cYou\u2019ve just got trust me on this, okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I trust you, when you don\u2019t tell me anything! All the other students from the Academy have gotten to actually use magic. I\u2019m falling behind!\u201d he ranted. This apprenticeship was supposed to make him a better wizard, but how is that possible when he doesn\u2019t get taught any real magic. <\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche massaged his temples. \u201cYou\u2019ve got to get over your preconceptions and look deeper, Kris. Magic isn\u2019t just what you think it is,\u201d he muttered. \u201cI don\u2019t know what else to tell you. Just trust me,\u201d he repeated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris couldn\u2019t look at him. Kris kept his head pointed towards the ground. He told himself that all of the magic tricks, was a test for his perseverance and eventually Faramouche would teach him magic. At the beginning, he knew not to expect an easy apprenticeship. Faramouche hadn\u2019t given an apprentice a pass in the last ten years. Forcing enough students to repeat a year, he was avoided like a plague, with the last few years having no Academy students apprenticing under him. Until Kris came. <\/span><\/p>\n

Kris could have chosen anybody else; he was a top Academy student. But Kris chose Faramouche because he wanted the hardest challenge to better his magic. He could not have anticipated the reason for other student\u2019s failures. Since he began his apprenticeship, Kris had yet to learn or even see the self-proclaimed great Faramouche perform any actual magic. Kris wanted to quit, to leave Faramouche, but repeating a year was not an option. It would be a black mark on his record if he quit, or worse got expelled from Faramouche\u2019s tutelage.<\/span><\/p>\n

For two weeks, he did his best to tough it out, but now Kris was tired of being left in the dark. Five hours, he left Kris alone, and he wouldn\u2019t even explain the single card. He saw the cards in his hand. It was the same as the rest of these. Then an idea came to him. Kris decided if Faramouche wasn\u2019t going to tell him anything, he\u2019d just figure the secret of the card out himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche patted his shoulder. \u201cBuck up, Kris. This is about to be prime time. You\u2019ll be done in a few more hours.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris angrily shoved the deck at Faramouche, hard enough Kris hoped he wouldn\u2019t notice Kris pinching the card from his jacket. He palmed it like he practiced, the way Faramouche taught him, and quickly pushed both his hands into his pockets. <\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche, clutching a messy pile of cards, just shook his head. \u201cAlright. I see how things are going right now,\u201d he said. Kris worried he might have noticed. \u201cYou\u2019re taking a break,\u201d Faramouche said sternly. \u201cI\u2019ll get us the rest of the money.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris felt relief wash over him. \u201cBut we will be finishing this lesson up later,\u201d Faramouche placed his hat back on the ground. <\/span><\/p>\n

Kris, convinced he didn\u2019t notice, had to leave to finally figure out what the card was. \u201cI\u2019m going to the restroom,\u201d his voice cracked slightly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche was shuffling the cards back into a stack. \u201cFine,\u201d he said reluctantly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris turned and walked across the street towards the bodega. There he could be alone to study the card, and afterwards he\u2019d slip it right back into Faramouche\u2019s jacket. He was at the door of the bodega now.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKris!\u201d Over his shoulder, he heard Faramouche yell after him. Kris glanced behind him. His master was sprinting towards him, his suit sleeves and pant legs billowing. He noticed faster than Kris hoped.<\/span><\/p>\n

With a ding, Kris pulled open the door to the bodega. \u201cWhere\u2019s the bathroom?\u201d he asked. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn the back,\u201d the clerk said.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a small store, aisles with barely enough room to walk through. As fast as he could, Kris bumped his way through and found the only bathroom. He ran in and was hit with an indescribable stench. It was horrendously dirty, not a clean tile on the floor. He was surprised the mirror could even hold a reflection with all the grime on it. Like an afterthought, the toilet was squeezed into the corner of the small box of a room. Kris didn\u2019t want to stay, but he closed and locked the door behind him. Faramouche would reach the bodega soon. Kris quickly piled on incantations onto the door that would keep it locked. They weren\u2019t impenetrable, but it would take at least 5 minutes to dispel all of them, if Faramouche could even use magic.<\/span><\/p>\n

Catching his breath, Kris took the card out from his pocket and brought it up to his face. The back was an average blue pattern of a playing card. Kris flipped it over. The front, rather than a suit of a card, had intricate swirling symbols engraved on paper which had a strange shine. Kris recognized them as magical runes, but he couldn\u2019t read them at all. It was unlike anything he had studied at the Academy. Kris wanted to learn about new and strange things like this. That Faramouche would hide this from his own apprentice, made Kris ball his other hand into a fist. <\/span><\/p>\n

He still couldn\u2019t tell the purpose of the card. But touching the intricate rune design, he could sense a switch he could press on if he just fed a little magic in. But what happened after, he could only guess.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDing,\u201d it was the sound of the bodega door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s the bathroom?\u201d it was Faramouche\u2019s voice. When the clerk told Faramouche, Kris heard the sound of rushed steps and the bumping into of store aisles. The doorknob jiggled up and down from Faramouche trying to get in. There was a quick succession of raps onto the door. \u201cKris, give me the card back!\u201d he yelled.<\/span><\/p>\n

But Kris didn\u2019t answer and continued studying the card. The runes tingled to the touch. Just some magic and they would activate. Easy enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche was banging on the door now. The doorknob shook violently. \u201cOpen the door, Kris! You have to give me the card back!\u201d Kris looked to see if there was a window to climb out of, but there was nothing. Kris was trapped in the bathroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

He stared at the reflection of himself in the grimy mirror. Kris was apprehensive about what to do next. Never had he disobeyed a teacher before, and Faramouche seemed incredibly mad. But he had gotten this far. If he gave the card back now, Faramouche would never tell him what it was. If somehow he didn\u2019t get expelled from his apprenticeship, there were still only more pointless card tricks on street corners, trying to make money for the next bus waiting for him. He looked at the card. It was so thin. Add magic and then the runes would activate. What could the harm even be? In the end, Faramouche would eventually unlock the door. This was the only opportunity to figure something out. <\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s more banging on the door. \u201cKris, dispel the enchantments and open the door! I\u2019m going to make it in sooner or later!\u201d he screamed. <\/span><\/p>\n

But Kris ignored it. He focused and stared hard at the swirling rune pattern. He willed magic to flow from his fingertips, and it leaped into the card\u2019s runes. He felt it energize the card which began to project a rainbow light spectrum. But then nothing else. For a moment Kris got disappointed that perhaps it was just a Faramouche designed spectacle.<\/span><\/p>\n

Suddenly through his finger, he felt a rebound of magic rush back into him. The power of it paralyzed him. It was the most magical power he had ever felt. But it was too much. Soon it filled his entire body. His insides burned while it coursed through him. \u201cAhh!\u201d he screamed in pain. The mirror shattered in front of him, and Kris could feel the cracking of tile under his feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKris!\u201d Faramouche yelled.<\/span><\/p>\n

He tried to scream for help, but it was too much. He felt like he was bursting at the seams. Unable to move, all he could do was scream. Beams of dazzling lights flashed through his vision, but from the corner of his eye, he saw the door lock turn. Faramouche must have finished dispelling it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouch burst into the bathroom. His suit was ruffled, his face distressed, and strands of hair were falling out of his hat. He was more unkempt than Kris had ever seen him. He tried to grab the card from Kris\u2019s hand but his arm got pushed back when he touched it. \u201cAh!\u201d Faramouche shook his hand in pain. \u201cHold on Kris,\u201d Faramouche looked into Kris\u2019s eyes and tried to assure him, but the pain was excruciating for Kris. Faramouche pulled the deck of cards out of his pocket and threw them up. Instead of falling, the cards were suspended in midair and began to slowly rotate around Kris. Arcs of light shot from Kris\u2019s body, and he felt magic being siphoned from him. Still, it wasn\u2019t enough. The magic continuously flooded into him. His senses were being overwhelmed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKris, listen to me,\u201d Faramouche tried to explain. The card! It\u2019s misdirection! You have to look…\u201d Faramouche\u2019s voice faded to nothing, despite the movement of his mouth. Kris\u2019s couldn\u2019t hear anything, not even his own screaming. Faramouche looked on helpless, just mouthing out directions Kris couldn\u2019t hear before even Kris\u2019s vision became a dizzying kaleidoscope of incoherent colors.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris didn\u2019t know what to do. He felt a terrible numbness in his hands, burned out from pure magic. Kris tried his best to remember the long hours learning the card trick. <\/span><\/p>\n

What was misdirection? Days earlier Faramouche was teaching him, and Kris wished he paid more attention then \u201cIt\u2019s all about misdirection, Kris,\u201d Faramouche said. \u201cThis is the building block of all good magic. Manipulating someone\u2019s attention, while the real secret is hidden right in front of them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris struggled to understand how it applied. He racked his brain for a solution, while his body was burning and a sickening numbness in his hands began to spread. He could only feel the magic coursing through his hands from the runes. <\/span><\/p>\n

Then he remembered the back. It was the same average back as any other playing card. But why would it be? Why isn\u2019t the same rune pattern on the back? The intricate details on the front were the misdirection. It had to be the real secret. If not, then Kris didn\u2019t know what else to do. <\/span><\/p>\n

Kris mustered his last sense of control, willing magic to leave his hand towards the card back. But the magic fought him. He was swimming against the current. He fought to inch it forward until it was on the cusp of leaving his hand. Kris could sense hidden runes on the card back. He was right. He just needed to bridge the connection. But the numbness was overtaking him, the cycle of colors flashed faster and faster, and he could feel himself about to faint. <\/span><\/p>\n

But when his mind began to slip he remembered. \u201cLook deeper,\u201d his master had said. With a last push, he exerted as much magic he could. A small spark exited his hand, and the card back emitted a brief glow. Then like a close of a door, the flood of magic stopped. His hand relaxed and the card fell, fluttering harmless, towards the ground. Kris, finally able to see, saw his master Faramouche, sweat beading on his forehead, quickly grab the card and threw it back into his jacket. The rest of the cards stopped their orbit and flew into Faramouche\u2019s pant pocket.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris was short of breath. He could barely stand up. Before he knew it, he was tipping over.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKris!\u201d he yelled out. Faramouche grabbed his arm and caught him. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. I\u2019ve got you, kid,\u201d Faramouche said before Kris shut his eyes and slipped into a stupor.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Kris next opened his eyes, it was to the sight and smell of a green bus pulling up. He was laying on the not very soft cushion of the bus stop, the blue pinstripe jacket laid over him. He carefully bent and stretched his fingers, testing his magic. His weren\u2019t numb anymore, just sore. Performing actual magic he\u2019d have to hold back on for now, but other than fatigue, he felt somewhat alright. Getting up, he sluggishly looked around for Faramouche.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow is this your card, sir?\u201d Kris heard behind him. He turned to look. A small crowd had gathered around Faramouche. Kris slowly walked over.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you completely sure this is not your card?\u201d Faramouche continued. Everyone laughed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d a man said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy god that is strange,\u201d Faramouche feigned confusion. He noticed Kris and gave him a slight nod. Kris joined the crowd, apprehensively waiting for the end of the show. There was no way Faramouche was letting him get away with stealing the card. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps the young lady to your right would happen to know?\u201d Faramouche pointed to an elderly woman who blushed at his comment. \u201cYoung miss, could you please open your purse?\u201d she grinned and opened it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my god!\u201d she squealed. She pulled the card, the king of hearts, out and the crowd cheered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow is that your card?\u201d Faramouche boomed, with the answer, of course, being yes, before giving a deep bow. \u201cToday\u2019s show is over! You were a great audience!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After the crowd dispersed, either leaving or getting on buses, Kris walked up to Faramouche. He handed him his jacket back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow you feeling?\u201d Faramouche asked, in an uncharacteristically soft tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine. Just tired,\u201d Kris sheepishly said. \u201cHow long have I been asleep?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA good two hours, kid,\u201d he chuckled. \u201cCheck the hat,\u201d he pointed down at the hat. It was filled to the brim with cash.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris smiled. It didn\u2019t seem like Faramouche was mad. \u201cEnough for two tickets, huh?\u201d Kris joked.<\/span><\/p>\n

But Faramouche didn\u2019t smile back. \u201cI, uh, don\u2019t think you should come with me anymore.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris was disappointed. He thought he might have escaped the consequences of his theft. \u201cIs this, is this a punishment?\u201d Kris stammered, assuming the answer to be yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not,\u201d Faramouche said much to the surprise of Kris. \u201cThat amount of magic coursing through you, Kris, it could have fried your ability to do magic. Or worse, you could have died.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019m fine!\u201d Kris raised his arms and then winced in pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m your master, Kris. You are my apprentice, my responsibility. And I think you\u2019d agree, that I haven\u2019t been the best master. Frankly, I never have been good at this kind of thing. I think it\u2019d better if you went back to the Academy to request a switch in master. There\u2019s enough money in the hat to get you back uptown, back to a portal that can get you to the Academy. You have my approval for the switch. Don\u2019t worry. Your records are going to be clean, and you won\u2019t have to repeat a year,\u201d Faramouche smiled, but his eyes looked sad. Kris was too shocked to say anything. \u201cCompared to most of my other apprentices you\u2019ve actually lasted a helluva lot longer. Course, then again most of them also don\u2019t try and steal stuff from me,\u201d Faramouche awkwardly chuckled. <\/span><\/p>\n

Kris stared at him in disbelief. There was a time where Kris had wished for such an easy way out, to escape the teachings of Faramouche. But not now. Despite almost dying, Kris felt like he finally uncovered something new, something magical.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faramouche took Kris\u2019s hand. \u201cSomething to remember me by. You\u2019re going to do great things, kid,\u201d he placed the deck into Kris\u2019s palm. \u201cGoodbye Kris,\u201d he patted his shoulder and walked away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris watched in silence as he gets on the bus. He looked at the cards in his hand. For hours, he practiced with these cards, doing the same thing over and over again. Shuffling, palming the card, hiding it behind his hand, and then with a flick of a wrist making it appear. No matter how alien or difficult it was, Kris practiced till his fingers hurt. Because Kris wanted to be a great magician. <\/span><\/p>\n

So Kris began shuffling the deck. Selecting a single card, he displayed it to an imagined audience. In one smooth fluid motion, he gripped the card\u2019s edges with his pinky and pointer finger, curling the card slightly. And sliding it behind his palm, the card vanished. The trick was obvious once you knew the secret.<\/span><\/p>\n

With a snap and a flick of his wrist, the card was back. Taking the deck of cards and the blue pin-stripe hat, Kris walked onto the same bus Faramouche did.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

END.<\/span><\/p>\n

By Matthew Viriyapah<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kris received a few letters this morning from friends from the Bernhold Academy of Magic. It\u2019s been two weeks now into their respective apprenticeships, and everyone was sharing how things were going. One was helping analyze magic in deep-sea rock, while at the bottom of the ocean. Another wrote back on slightly singed paper, that…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9,2,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archives","category-astounding-stories","category-swords-socery-and-subway-cars"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/550","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=550"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/550\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=550"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=550"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=550"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}