This is a story of high finance as well as high flying. It never would have been written if a couple of Yankee doughs had not found a cache of Jerry marks in a deserted abri near Vaubecourt.
\nYou see, a year before Uncle Sam peeled off his coat and spat on his hands to take a poke at Kaiser Bill, the Frog poilus had chased the Heinies out of the aforementioned Frog hamlet. And the Jerry brass hats, evidently very hard pressed, were satisfied to escape with even their skivvies. They left behind them a Boche paymaster and payroll buried in a mass of debris.
\nThe doughs who stumbled over this treasure left the Heinie paymaster where they found him\u2014 because he was no longer fit for circulation\u2014but the marks, having escaped the blast of shells, soon began to circulate throughout France; and thereupon reports hit Chaumont to the effect that a flock of Yanks, the majority of whom had failed to pass an intelligence test, had purchased the Kraut legal tender at various places and had paid for it with honest-to-goodness French and American currency.
\nOutside Bar-le-Duc, in the Frog farmhouse which served as headquarters for the Ninth Pursuit Squadron, Major Rufus Garrity was hearing the lowdown on these Yankee financial geniuses from a colonel who was tarrying over business so that both he and his official automobile could take on liquid refreshments.
\n\u201cYes sir, Garrity,\u201d the brass hat prated, \u201cthese doughs have been selling the marks at prices that are outrageous. They tell the dumb guys they pick out for customers that they will be in Germany before long and that they will need marks and plenty of \u2018em. So they give \u2018em about twenty marks for ten francs. That\u2019s robbery!
\n\u201cWhat\u2019s more, they will also be charged with confiscating Allied property and the sticking up of Boche prisoners. They\u2019ll get the jug for it\u2014those doughs. But we\u2019ll grab \u2018em all right. The Intelligence Corps is on their tails right now and expects to round \u2018em up in no time. Damndest thing I ever heard, Garrity.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy the dirty crooks!\u201d Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham horned in indignantly. \u201cWhy them doughs will be lousy with Frog dough before they know it. How do guys get so lucky, huh?\u201d
\n\u201cThey won\u2019t be so lucky when they get thrown into a klink for twenty years,\u201d Garrity clipped. \u201cHow much do you think they got out of that old dugout, Colonel?\u201d
\n\u201cWell, it\u2019s a safe bet that they found at least eighty thousand marks,\u201d the brass hat came back. \u201cThey sell \u2018em forty thousand francs and\u2014that\u2019s
\nsome profit!\u201d
\n\u201cAin\u2019t that just my luck?\u201d Phineas complained. \u201cI have pancaked in about three different trenches since I\u2019ve been over and I never hit that one where the marks were. I never was lucky. I took a dozen chances on an egg beater at a ladies\u2019 aid supper once back in Boonetown and my Aunt Isora only took one\u2014and she won it! And all them dumb doughs ready to pay two francs for\u2014 haw-w-w-w-w! It is awful what they don\u2019t know about foreign exchanges, ain\u2019t it, Colonel ?\u201d
\n\u201cAh\u2014er\u2014Garrity,\u201d the braided, baywindowed high officer said testily, \u201cI came in to have a quiet chat with you. This Pinkham fellow\u2014 hasn\u2019t he any idea of discipline or respect for his superior officers? Do they all walk over you like this, Major? I want the man out of here! I have other matters to discuss that are none of his affair. Hmph! Hmm!\u201d he blustered.
\nThe Old Man turned on Phineas. \u201cGet out of here,\u201d he exploded. \u201cWho do you think you are? Coming in like this and\u2014\u201d
\n\u201cNapoleon,\u201d Phineas said promptly. \u201cBut nobody will believe me, haw-w-w-w-w!\u201d Then shaking his head, the Boonetown nuisance went out. \u201cHuh, I would like to meet up with them doughs. Boys!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This is a story of high finance as well as high flying. It never would have been written if a couple of Yankee doughs had not found a cache of Jerry marks in a deserted abri near Vaubecourt. You see, a year before Uncle Sam peeled off his coat and spat on his hands to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pulp-classics","tag-joe-archibald"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=680"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}