Shorty Goes Loco
\nBy Ray Humphreys
\nAuthor of \u201cKitty, Kitty,\u201d etc.<\/p>\n
It had been a hasty but important conference in Sheriff Joe Cook\u2019s office. When it was over, and the agitated outsiders had departed, Deputy Sheriff \u201cShorty\u201d McKay, who, apparently, had been lost in the pages of a book all during the confab, jumped to his feet excitedly.<\/p>\n
\u201cBoss, yuh let me go on that case!\u201d cried Shorty.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh?\u201d said Sheriff Cook, in disgust, \u201cyuh\u2014why what in Sam Hill do yuh know about it\u2014with yuhr nose buried in a blamed story book all the time we was conferrin\u2019. I\u2019d a called yuh fer it \u2019ceptin\u2019 I didn\u2019t care to attract no attention to yuhr plagued indifference.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty put up protesting hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo\u2014no, boss!\u201d he cried fervently. \u201cI wus lissenin\u2019 with both ears all the time\u2014honest! I heard it all! I was just pertendin\u2019 to be readin\u2019\u2014an\u2019 anyhow\u2014it ain\u2019t no story book, this book ain\u2019t. No sirree\u2014lookit!\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty flipped the volume down on the table, under the sheriff\u2019s nose, and the sheriff grunted.<\/p>\n
The book was titled\u2014\u201cDetective Disguises.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEf yuh ask me,\u201d blurted out Sheriff Cook, \u201cI\u2019d say that was worse\u2019n any story book. \u201cDetective Disguises,\u201d eh? Waal, yuh lissen here\u2014all the disguisin\u2019 in this green world won\u2019t make up fer yuhr lack o\u2019 brains, y\u2019understand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYessir!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAn\u2019 as fer sendin\u2019 yuh on that case\u2014\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLissen, boss\u201d pleaded Shorty, \u201cit\u2019s a cinch yuh ain\u2019t hankerin\u2019 to go clear to Alamosa in weather like this, an\u2019 mebbe have to go from thar to Salida er Pueblo! It ain\u2019t gonna be no fun\u2014but me, I\u2019m crazy to go. I\u2019ll betcha\u2014\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a touchy kind o\u2019 case!\u201d said the sheriff, weakening a little as he realized that he did not have any desire to go on the trip.<\/p>\n
\u201cI kin handle it, boss!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sheriff Cook deliberated. He focused his gaze on Shorty\u2019s offending book as he concentrated. His glare was intense enough to burn a hole through it, but the sheriff was doing some tall thinking. In a minute he aroused himself, grabbed the volume on disguises, and chucked it violently in the waste paper basket. Then he looked up at the flushed Shorty, who was trembling with eagerness.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh kin go,\u201d said the sheriff. \u201cCatch that nine fifteen train to Alamosa\u2014but heaven help yuh if yuh bungle the job!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYessir. Thank yuh boss!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember, we ain\u2019t sure o\u2019 our suspicions,\u201d said the sheriff warningly. \u201cYuh gotta verify \u2019em afore yuh go makin\u2019 any rumpus. Yuh got that through yuhr thick noodle?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI has,\u201d said Shorty, bowing.<\/p>\n
Twenty minutes later, as the sheriff tramped the railroad platform, watch in hand, he cussed himself for giving in to his deputy\u2019s pleas. Here it was time for the nine fifteen, and Shorty, who had rushed home to pack a grip, had not shown up.<\/p>\n
\u201cBlamed galoot!\u201d said the sheriff hotly, \u201creckon he\u2019ll be late an\u2019 miss the train. That\u2019s just like him. He\u2019s a funny combination o\u2019 ambition, laziness, nerve an\u2019 nobody home in the attic. I told him perticular\u2014\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
There was a shrill whistle up the track and the rushing smoke of the passenger train could be seen.<\/p>\n
Sheriff Cook looked down the road toward town\u2014no Shorty in sight. The sheriff flung his cigar away.<\/p>\n
The train drew in. The sheriff knew it waited five minutes. Perhaps Shorty would make it yet. The sheriff, consulting his watch every few seconds, kept an eagle eye on the road\u2014but no Shorty. It was too late to send after him, he knew, and the train couldn\u2019t be held. His deputy was going to miss the train sure as shooting!<\/p>\n
Desperately Sheriff Cook poked through his pockets for another cigar. He found it. He fumbled for matches and didn\u2019t find them. He glared around the platform. A tall, bewhiskered old rancher was lounging near by, evidently waiting to board the train. The sheriff wheeled on him just as the engine whistled\u2014it was too late for Shorty to make the grade now!<\/p>\n
\u201cGotta match?\u201d muttered Sheriff Cook, choking with ill-concealed rage, \u201cI gotta have a light.\u201d<\/p>\n
The rancher produced a box of matches, and his hand shook violently as he handed them to Sheriff Cook, who noticed the stranger\u2019s great nervousness.<\/p>\n
\u201cGoin\u2019 out on the train?\u201d asked the sheriff.<\/p>\n
The stranger didn\u2019t answer. Instead his whiskers began to shake, then his shoulders, finally his whole body. The man quivered as though he were in a convulsion, and the sheriff stepped back a step in alarm.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh sick, mister?\u201d<\/p>\n
There was a long shriek of the locomotive\u2019s whistle before the stranger could reply. Then the train began to move. The rancher sprang for a coach and made it, then swung around and waved at the sheriff.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s me!\u201d cried a familiar voice, \u201cit\u2019s me\u2014Shorty\u2014in disguise. I ain\u2019t sick; I\u2019m laffin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n
The train was gone!<\/p>\n
In Alamosa, some five hours later, Shorty was still chuckling to himself as he remembered the look of mingled surprise and rage that had flashed across the sheriff\u2019s face as the deputy had spoken to him! In fact, Shorty had choked and giggled and shook in laughter during the whole trip. The brakeman and the conductor had both noticed it and decided that Shorty, whom they did not recognize, was crazy. They were relieved when he picked up his little black grip as Alamosa was announced and alighted at that town. The conductor, however, got off and pointed Shorty out to the Alamosa town marshal, who always met the trains.<\/p>\n
\u201cSee that ol\u2019 bird with the billy-goat whiskers?\u201d asked the conductor, pointing at Shorty. \u201cWaal, marshal, yuh keep an eye on him. He\u2019s plumb loco is my guess; got on the train at Monte Vista an\u2019 I seen the sheriff up thar lookin\u2019 him over close just afore we pulled out.\u201d<\/p>\n
The marshal\u2019s eyes popped.<\/p>\n
The eyes of two strangers, who lurked near by, and who had heard the conductor\u2019s remarks, also popped\u2014but discreetly. As Shorty shouldered through the crowd on the platform the strangers nudged each other and followed him. Shorty didn\u2019t glance back once. He plowed right up the main street and entered the Grand View Hotel as though he owned it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d said the tall stranger, \u201che\u2019s our meat. Him bein\u2019 a stranger here will make things all the better!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll wait here,\u201d said the other man, \u201cand brace him when he comes out\u2014ef he comes out soon enough!\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, meanwhile, was examining the Grand View register with deep concern. The clerk asked him if he cared to register, but Shorty ignored the suggestion. Presently\u2014apparently satisfied\u2014Shorty looked around the lobby until he saw a batch of grips on the floor, evidently belonging to guests about to depart on the next train for Salida. Shorty added his grip to the group. He crossed the lobby and looked into the dining room, but ducked back immediately.<\/p>\n
Then, whistling softly to himself, Shorty returned and reached for his grip, where he had left it with the others. Now he hesitated. He was not quite sure, it seemed, which was his bag. Eventually, after pawing them all over, and squinting at initials on some of them, he chose one and departed with it. The clerk watched him go with keen regret. The regret vanished a few minutes later when the town marshal, dropping in, announced that a crazy man was in town. When the marshal began to describe the fellow the clerk interrupted with a hoarse cry.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was in here not ten minutes back! I knowed he was looney the way he acted! Reckon he\u2019s a dangerous feller!\u201d<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, on the street, Shorty had been accosted by the two strangers who had followed him from the depot. They watched him come from the hotel, and they overhauled him in rapid strides. One passed to either side of him.<\/p>\n
\u201cStranger here?\u201d asked the tall man, and Shorty stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d said Shorty suspiciously, \u201can\u2019 who are yuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
The tall man pulled back his coat to disclose a scintillating badge on his vest. The other man did the same.<\/p>\n
\u201cDetectives!\u201d whispered the tall man. \u201cWe want yuh to help us, brother; yuh look honest!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am!\u201d said Shorty, but his knees shook. He was in for it, he figured. Detectives! They must have seen he was in disguise! Well, there was nothing to do now but see it through.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do yuh want me to do?\u201d faltered Shorty.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh look purty smart fer a hayseed,\u201d said the tall detective, patting Shorty on the shoulder. \u201cThat\u2019s why we picked yuh out, brother, an\u2019 further, yuh\u2019re a stranger. Now can we trust yuh to help us?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, stealing a glance at the unmistakable bulge on the stranger\u2019s hip, nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh sure kin, mister!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right,\u201d said the tall man, talking rapidly, \u201chere\u2019s the dope, brother. We\u2019re here after a feller\u2014a blamed crook\u2014an\u2019 we wanta take him quietly, without fuss, fer we think the town marshal here is shady, too. See? Waal, here\u2019s what we want yuh to do. We\u2019ll point out the feller we\u2019re after, an\u2019 we want yuh to pass him on the street an\u2019 speak to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpeak to him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, speak to him, and that\u2019ll give us an excuse to grab him. We\u2019ll be right behind yuh. All yuh gotta do is to speak to him and pass on. We\u2019ll go up an\u2019 flash our badges on him and put him under arrest\u2014see?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty was perplexed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAn\u2019 what\u2019ll I say to him?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
The two detectives laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnything,\u201d said the taller of the pair, \u201cbut mebbe yuh better just say \u2018Hello thar\u2014pard!\u2019 as yuh pass him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty nodded understandingly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right. Whar is he?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn the hotel,\u201d said the officers, \u201cbut he\u2019ll be hotfootin\u2019 it down here purty pronto to catch that Salida train. We\u2019ll wait for him here\u2014in this doorway.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, at the strangers\u2019 suggestion, stepped into the doorway. Then the taller of the pair noticed his grip.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat grip don\u2019t look right,\u201d he said. \u201cHardly be right fer yuh to be airin\u2019 the fact that yuh\u2019re a stranger here when yuh speak to our man. He might not speak back, and that\u2019s what we want him to do. All depends on that, brother. Say, I\u2019ll take yuhr grip an\u2019 check it fer yuh at the station. Yuh kin git it after we pull our stunt, how\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty hesitated.<\/p>\n
\u201cWaal,\u201d he said, finally, \u201cef yuh gents will excuse me while I git out a clean hankerchief\u2014\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, hop to it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, turning his back on the pair, opened his bag and then snapped it shut quickly. He pulled a handkerchief out of one pocket, surreptitiously, and then put it back again with such a flourish that the strangers could not fail to see it.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right,\u201d he said, \u201cyuh kin check the grip!\u201d<\/p>\n
The short man took the grip and went briskly down the street while Shorty held his breath in dismay. What if that grip was lost! But the short man was back in a few minutes and handed Shorty the claim check for the grip.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh kin git it after yuh help us,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cOur man will be due in ten minutes!\u201d said the tall man, consulting his watch. \u201cNow, brother, yuh know what to do? When we see him come outta the hotel yuh start walkin\u2019 toward him, an\u2019 when yuh git close to him, slow up an\u2019 just say \u2018Hello thar\u2014pard!\u2019 Then pass on. We\u2019ll be right behind yuh. When he speaks to yuh, we grab him an\u2019 hustle him off. Yuh better keep right on goin\u2019 an\u2019 don\u2019t look around! We\u2019ll attend to him. He might shoot, yuh know\u2014so yuh don\u2019t stop. Yuh go an\u2019 git yuhr grip, see?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty nodded. It was all beyond him. Still he had no choice. He was on the verge, once or twice, of confiding the fact to the detectives that he, too, was an officer, but somehow he couldn\u2019t get the courage.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow!\u201d said the short man suddenly, pointing.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes!\u201d cried the tall man, \u201cthat\u2019s him\u2014thar he comes with a bag in his hand. Git goin\u2019, brother!\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, however, his eyes bulging, stood rooted in the doorway until the strangers gave him a shove. Then he started. He walked briskly toward the man who was coming down the street with the grip. Shorty\u2019s heart almost stopped beating, but he got a hold on himself and threw back his shoulders. He could hear the two strangers right at his heels.<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember!\u201d he heard one of them hiss at him.<\/p>\n
Shorty tugged at the collar that seemed to be choking him. He staggered a bit, but went on.<\/p>\n
Now the man with the grip\u2014the crook\u2014was but a few paces ahead. Shorty took his courage in his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello thar, pard!\u201d Shorty sang out.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy\u2014hello\u2014hello yuhrself!\u201d said the man, hesitating and peering hard at Shorty, who kept on going.<\/p>\n
In a twinkling, the two men who had followed Shorty up the street jumped for the man with the bag. They grabbed him by the arms. He endeavored to jerk away, and they threw back their coats, displaying their badges.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe want yuh!\u201d Shorty heard the tall man say. \u201cWe\u2019re officers! We want to know who yuh are\u2014and why yuh just spoke to that criminal yuh just passed?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, almost believing his ears had deceived him, stepped nimbly to one side and vanished into a doorway, where he crouched, hardly daring to breathe. The officers had said he was a criminal! Then they must have seen through his disguise. Still\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m no criminal!\u201d the man Shorty had spoken to, under orders, was protesting, \u201cI\u2019m a bank cashier; that\u2019s who I am! And I swear I didn\u2019t know that fellow. He spoke to me\u2014yes\u2014but I didn\u2019t\u2014\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe called yuh \u2018pard\u2019!\u201d cried the tall detective, \u201can\u2019 yuh answered him! He\u2019s a desperate crook we\u2019ve been trailin\u2019\u2014an\u2019 we want to know ef yuh\u2019re another one?\u201d<\/p>\n
In vain the man with the grip protested his innocence; in vain he tugged and struggled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll take yuh up to our headquarters an\u2019 find out who yuh are,\u201d said the tall detective. Shorty was straining his ears to get the gist of the conversation. \u201cHere, put out yuhr hands\u2014straight out\u2014an\u2019 drap that bag!\u201d<\/p>\n
The astonished stranger dropped the bag. The short detective grabbed it up, while the tall officer snapped a pair of handcuffs on the man\u2019s wrists.<\/p>\n
\u201cC\u2019mon with us, bo!\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, peering around the doorway, saw the two detectives marching their captive diagonally across the street. He watched them gain the other side and disappear up a rooming house stairway. It was dusk, and the struggle on the street had not been noticed. Shorty, throwing his shoulders back and breathing free for the first time in an hour, stepped out from his hiding place.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, yuh!\u201d cried a voice.<\/p>\n
Shorty turned, to behold the town marshal walking toward him. As Shorty halted the marshal stopped, too.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just wanted to tell yuh,\u201d said the marshal, in a quivering voice, \u201cthat yuh better leave town purty sudden. We ain\u2019t used to nuts here in Alamosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty grunted savagely, then dashed across the street, and vanished up the rooming house stairway, leaving the marshal gasping in astonishment. At the head of the stairs Shorty hesitated, then pussyfooted it down the corridor, listening. There was a light through one transom and voices from within that room. Shorty halted when he recognized the whine of the man the two detectives had nabbed a few minutes before on the street.<\/p>\n
\u201cI tell yuh I\u2019m Grant Loren, cashier o\u2019 the Front Range bank at Monte Vista!\u201d the man was crying. \u201cThat\u2019s who I am, and I swear it to yuh! I don\u2019t see why yuh handcuff me. I\u2019m no robber, or gunman.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty heard the taller of the detectives speak.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut yuh acknowledged the greeting of that crook who spoke to yuh on the street,\u201d he said, suavely, \u201can\u2019 do yuh think we don\u2019t know who he was? That was Bill Means, the rustler! Yes, that\u2019s who\u2014an\u2019 birds of a feather flock together. What yuh got in that grip, mister?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAbout eight thousand in cash,\u201d he sputtered, \u201can\u2019 I ain\u2019t no rustler! I didn\u2019t know that feller with the whiskers at all.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty, his ear glued to the door, had not heard the stealthy footfalls behind him. He jumped a foot when a heavy hand was laid on his shoulder and he swung around to stare the town marshal straight in the face. The marshal retreated.<\/p>\n
\u201cI tol\u2019 yuh,\u201d he said, shaking a finger at Shorty, \u201cthat yuh better leave town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSay!\u201d whispered Shorty, beckoning to him. \u201cHow many detectives yuh got in this town, marshal?\u201d<\/p>\n
The marshal\u2019s face went a shade whiter.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuhr sure plumb loco, mister!\u201d he gasped out. \u201cHow many detectives? Why, we ain\u2019t got any!\u201d<\/p>\n
Shorty grinned broadly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThought so!\u201d he said, and the next minute he reached under his long duster and whipped out a six-gun. The marshal faded down the corridor, but Shorty paid him no heed. Instead he put his ear to the keyhole once more, and listened intently.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow yuh open this grip, mister?\u201d he heard the shorter of the two detectives ask. That was all Shorty waited for. He seized the door knob and threw his weight against the door, crashing into the room like a young cyclone.<\/p>\n
\u201cHands up, yuh hombres!\u201d he cried.<\/p>\n
The two detectives instantly reached for the ceiling. They had been taken by surprise. Shorty, passing one swift hand over them, in turn, tossed two revolvers to the floor. Then he turned and gave the man with the handcuffs a look.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, Loren!\u201d said Shorty. The bank cashier cringed in his chair and put up his manacled hands to ward Shorty off.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2014I\u2014dunno\u2014yuh. I swear it!\u201d cried the cashier.<\/p>\n
\u201cBlamed right yuh don\u2019t!\u201d retorted Shorty and then he turned on his captives with a sneer.<\/p>\n
\u201cBack up agin the wall and keep yuhr hands reachin\u2019, yuh fake detectives!\u201d he cried. \u201cI reckon I got yuhr number! Detectives\u2014bah! I noticed when yuh showed me yuhr badge, yuh tall buzzard, that it didn\u2019t say \u2018detective.\u2019 It said \u2018water inspector.\u2019 I only got a glimpse, but my eyes are good.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh\u2014yuh\u2014rustler!\u201d stuttered the tall man.<\/p>\n
\u201cRustler, bah!\u201d said Shorty, \u201cI\u2019m on to yuh fellers, but yuh fellers ain\u2019t on to me. I been studyin\u2019 up on detective work, I have, an\u2019 I know yuhr game. Yuh got me to speak to this cashier here, so yuh\u2019d have an excuse to grab him an\u2019 hustle him off the street to a room, whar yuh meant to rob him. Ain\u2019t that it? Waal, it sure is! It ain\u2019t such a bad trick, at that, but th\u2019 bird yuh picked fer a dupe was the wrong guy, gents. It was me!\u201d<\/p>\n
The detectives sputtered.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuh said the marshal o\u2019 this town was crooked,\u201d went on Shorty, \u201cand\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey did, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n
The marshal, who had crept back down the corridor, bounced into the room, but Shorty ignored him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWaal,\u201d said the tall stranger, \u201cI guess the jig is up. Yuh got us; mebbe we did mind to rob this cashier, but we hain\u2019t done it yit, so yuh ain\u2019t got anything on us. We recognized him as the Monte Vista cashier when he came in town this mawnin\u2019 an\u2019 reckoned he had dough in that bag.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d said Shorty, \u201cthat\u2019s Grant Loren!\u201d<\/p>\n
The bank cashier was still too puzzled to make things all out. He glared at Shorty.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know yuh!\u201d he cried.<\/p>\n
Shorty chuckled.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course yuh don\u2019t,\u201d he agreed readily.<\/p>\n
Then he snatched at his false whiskers and his wig; both came away in one hand. \u201cBut now yuh oughter. I\u2019m Shorty McKay, deputy sheriff o\u2019 Monte Vista, Mister Loren!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAwk!\u201d gurgled the cashier, sinking back in the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cAn\u2019 while I\u2019m arrestin\u2019 yuh two fake detectives fer attempted robbery,\u201d said Shorty, turning to the two men along the wall, \u201cI want to thank yuh both fer putting the handcuffs on Loren here. He was the man I was after! He blew out of Monte Vista early today, with about eight thousand dollars in bank funds in his bag. The bank officials hushed it up, an\u2019 I came after him, in disguise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhew!\u201d said the town marshal in admiration.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that grip,\u201d said Shorty, laughing again as he pointed to the black bag that the shorter of the two bandits had been trying to open as Shorty had busted into the room, \u201cis really my grip. I switched grips in the hotel after I saw Loren in there. His grip had initials on it. I had it with me when yuh birds stopped me. When I excused myself to get a hankerchief out of it I was just peekin\u2019 inter it to see if the money was thar as I expected. It was. That confirmed the fact that Loren here was runnin\u2019 away with it. That grip, I believe, one o\u2019 yuh boys kindly checked fer me at the depot; isn\u2019t that right?\u201d<\/p>\n
The two pseudo detectives, now shown up as plain robbers, were too completely dumfounded to make any coherent reply; they just stood and stared.<\/p>\n
\u201cAn\u2019 that train conductor,\u201d gasped out the old town marshal, as Shorty slipped the bracelets on the two bandits, \u201csaid yuh was plain loco\u2014an\u2019 here yuh git three birds with one stone. Ef anybody is loco, it\u2019s the conductor himself!\u201d<\/p>\n
NOTES ON THE TEXT
\nThis story appeared in Western Story Magazine, February 13, 1926. It is believed to be in the public domain in the United States; copyright status may differ in other countries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A Ray Humphreys Western from the Shorty McKay recurring-character cluster.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[5,161],"tags":[113,162,163,164,165],"class_list":["post-900019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pulp-classics","category-western","tag-public-domain","tag-ray-humphreys","tag-shorty-mckay","tag-shorty-mckay-series","tag-western-pulp"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=900019"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900019\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":900028,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900019\/revisions\/900028"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=900019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=900019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoundingoutpost.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=900019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}