Avagadro’s Zombies

 

“I guess I kinda thought when the world ended it’d be relaxing.” The Santa Anna winds blew the hot smell of rotting flesh, and wildfires across his face. The herd was, maybe a mile out, so they still had some down time.

 

“What do you mean?” Braeden didn’t really care, but he said nothing so the noob would keep talking.

 

“I mean no nine to five, no papers to grade or bills to pay. Secretly I think we all thought it’d be kind of relaxing.”

 

“You never thought about having to scavenge for food, or amebic dysentery? I bet you even thought there’d be an endless supply of bullets.” He continued sharpening his steel arrow head knowing the noob was one of those. The people that loved the zombie films, maybe even used to dress in camos and stare at their canned food supply patting themselves on the back because they could survive anything, but now that anything had actually happened, they were a little caught off guard. It was one thing to have post apocalyptic dreams. It was another to be awake while the zombies were biting.

 

“So what’d you do before?”

 

“Does it matter?” Noobs all asked the same questions; where were you from, what did you do, did you lose anyone? It was like a rite of passage when you joined a group.

 

“I think it does. It helps us get to know each other and it passes the time. Besides it can’t hurt anything,” he said wiping the sweat from his face.

 

“Someday you’ll turn and I’ll have to bash in your brains, that’s all I need to know.” Anymore than that and it’d be harder to bash in the noob’s brain. Which he knew he’d have to do at some point. Scavenging missions only ever ended one way. The noob got bit and he’d have to keep them from turning. It was better not to know who they were. It was better not to get too attached to the soon to be dead.

 

Braeden was pretty sure that’s how the zombie apocalypse would happen. Dreaming about a post-apocalyptic world was a hell of a lot easier than studying for his Ap chem midterm. Killing noobs was easy, Avagadro’s number was hard. He wished the apocalypse would happen before second hour.

 

END.

Closing Time

 

Eric Kenner was beginning to nod when the tires crunched on the gravelly side of the interstate.  He jumped awake and swerved back into his place, thankful that no one was around to see him.  Or hit him.  He had tried turning on the air conditioning to full blast, and that had helped for a little while.  Not long enough, though; Jenner was fading, and he knew it.  In his twenty-three years of driving big rigs, he had only fallen asleep on the road once – but of course, that was all it had taken, as they say.  His souvenirs from that little adventure came in the form of enough metal reinforcement (pins in the legs, pins in the spinal column, and of course, the ever popular four inch plate in the head) to get him special treatment at airports.  Since then, it had been his policy to quit driving as soon as he was even remotely tired; to pull into some hotel and just crash, even if he might only be an hour or two from his destination.

Tonight was different because his destination had nothing to do with his job.  He had a feeling that if he didn’t reach Myra by tonight, she would be gone forever.  If he stopped now, if he showed just one more sign of anger – even an unintentional one – it was probably curtains for them.  She had already started talking about moving out of their house and getting an apartment.  Eric had little doubt that if Myra did that, she wouldn’t be moving in alone.  Not for the first time, he wondered whether or not he really had been better off not knowing about the man she was cheating with.  After all, before that, he had been happy, and had assumed that she was, too. 

Now he knew the truth, and he was miserable.

The first drops of rain spattering the windshield jerked him out of his thoughts of Myra, back to thoughts of the road.  He didn’t mind driving in the rain most of the time, but then most of the time he was in his Peterbilt rig, and not in this dinky Honda Civic.  Plus, he knew that after a little while, rain falling on the windshield would likely become a soothing lullaby, which was the very last thing he needed right now.

He glanced down at the cell phone lying in the passenger seat like the world’s smallest child getting to sit up front.  He could call her.  If he told her that he was tired and needed to pull off to get some rest, she’d understand.  After all, she’d been there, holding his hand in the ICU and crying her eyes out as she stared at the damaged body of her husband.  She knew that if he said he needed sleep, he meant it.  Every time.

But tonight, maybe she knew something else, Eric thought.  Maybe she also knew that she didn’t love him anymore.

So, no phone call.  Tonight he would make it home, and he would talk to her face to face.  If the stars aligned for him, if he could be very convincing, and most of all, if there still burned something inside her for him, he thought they might pull through.

 

*          *          *

 

He was fading again when he saw the smeared streak of halogen lights up ahead.  He snapped awake, mentally gauging the distance to them so he’d be sure to catch the right exit.  What he felt now was more than tired.  It was an ache, the kind of soulless sorrow that comes from wanting to sleep and being unable to.  It seemed he could feel it in his bones, in his stomach, behind the eyes he so desperately wanted to close. 

It was a gas station; he could see it more clearly now through the rain.  One of those middle-of-nowhere all-nighter joints, he supposed, and shuddered.  If there was one job more lonely than his own, surely it was being a clerk in one of these places.  He turned his blinker on, too soon, but it didn’t matter.  It was almost two in the morning, and he hadn’t seen another car in half an hour.  Raindrops fell, scattered, and were swept away by the windshield wipers as he pulled off the interstate, guiding his car mostly by the lights ahead, as if he were a mariner lost in a storm on a choppy sea, and the halogens ahead were the salvific lighthouse.

He certainly felt lost tonight.

The parking lot was rough; there were large cracks in the macadam which held sizable populations of weeds, these pushing up through as if to reclaim Earth for the flora.  Caught among them were bits of trash – part of a coffee cup, a cinnamon bun wrapper, a broken beer bottle – souvenirs, no doubt, from this hallowed establishment, carried to a temporary resting place by wind and circumstance.

Eric pulled in, shut the car off, and just sat there for a long moment, hoping the rain would let up long enough for him to get out and go in without getting soaked.  It didn’t happen.  He reached over into the passenger seat and picked up the cell phone, flipped it open.  He had two bars, which wasn’t much, but it would be enough should he decide to call Myra.  He could do it; he wasn’t sure how close the nearest hotel might be, but it had to be closer than home.

Besides, this whole thing was probably a waste of time.  In all likelihood, it was too late to save the marriage anyway; best for him to get over it and begin the process of moving on. 

He put the cell phone back in the seat and opened his door.  He would at least go inside and look around for something to wake him up, just to be able to say he tried.  Beyond that, he could ask the lonely clerk where the nearest hotel might be – where the nearest town might be, for that matter; he wasn’t really sure there was much out here at all. 

He was soaked the moment he stepped out of the car, and as soon as he shut the door he ran up to the awning, passing through the heavy sheet of drain water and gasping at the cold.  He almost ran head first into the payphone, and wouldn’t that have been hilarious, he thought.  He took a moment to shake himself off, wringing his hands, running them through his hair, wringing them again.  Now his hair stood up in dripping spikes, and the skin of his palms was shriveled with moisture.  It occurred to him that he was wide awake now, and that he could probably go another twenty or thirty miles in this condition. 

But no; he was here, so he might as well get something to drink.  Not coffee – Eric hated coffee – but something caffeinated.  Maybe a Coke.

He walked to the front door, which was glass crisscrossed with black iron bars.  “Charming,” he muttered, and stepped in.

 

*          *          *

 

The music hit him first, the smell second.  Of the two, the music was more recognizable – he thought it was George Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue”.  The smell, though familiar, eluded him.  It conjured strange scenes from his youth, existing as a cloudy ectoplasm enveloping the stage during certain scenes of the mostly-forgotten play of childhood.  It was inane, alien, yet powerfully close.  He both wanted to inhale deeply to explore its singular bouquet, and at the same time vomit it from his nose and thrust himself back into the night, where the rain-washed air would smell fresh and vivid and above all things right.

This smell was not right.  It was wrong.

He stepped across the threshold, and above him a small grouping of jingle bells shivered into action, hailing his arrival by cutting harshly across Gershwin’s roving piano solo.  They died out quickly, and the sound of the rain was slowly enveloped by the sound of the door whooshing shut behind him.  Another tinkling of bells, and he was fully inside the store.

Something else felt wrong about the place immediately.  Not only did it not smell right, but he seemed to be entirely alone.  No one stood behind the counter; there were no patrons in the aisles.  He hadn’t seen any other cars in the parking lot, so he supposed that made sense, but…

“I’ll be right there,” a raspy voice said, and Eric jumped.  He looked in the direction the voice had come from, and saw an open door with the word “OFFICE” printed on it.  On this door were a multiplicity of signs, including such witticisms as “THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES”, and “PROBLEM CUSTOMERS WILL BE TAKEN OUT BACK AND SHOT”.  Oddly enough, these signs cheered Eric a little.  They seemed to take a little bit of the creepy out of it, in some way he couldn’t quite put a finger on.

He turned toward the first aisle, and was startled to see a man-sized hourglass.  Most of its sand – which was brown rather than the usual white – was in the bottom glass.  On the top glass was a sign written by hand: TIME UNTIL CLOSE.  This one seemed a bit less cheery than the ones on the office door.  Eric shuffled past it toward the rest of the aisle and began walking down it, his eyes catching on things here and there.  Car equipment on the first aisle: everything you could possibly need from jumper cables to air fresheners.  There were sunglasses and phone chargers, phone cards and sun visors, ice scrapers and ice chests.  It all seemed perfectly natural; if you were coming into this gas station, you were likely on some kind of long trip, and who in the world liked to take a long car trip sans those special accoutrements one could acquire most conveniently at a convenience store?

Eric smiled, moving on.  He found that he had been wrong about the rain waking him up fully – he felt almost as tired now as he had in the car.  Maybe a Coke wasn’t going to do the job.  As a general rule, he tried to stay away from caffeine pills and energy drinks (he secretly suspected that cancer or something equally vile resided within such products, and that to use them even sparingly was to take one’s life in hand), but maybe tonight was the time for that rare exception.

The end of the first aisle ended up being the porn section.  This was the part of any convenience store which he – and, he assumed, most self-respecting people – tried to skirt around, not because he had no interest in such things, but because it was uncouth.  Now, of course, it was just him and the as-yet absentee clerk.  The urge to look was primal, had been ever since he was a youth.  Around about the time that that smell reminds you of, wouldn’t you say, a voice in his head intoned.  He took a faint sniff of the air, dismissed it, and looked at the porn rack, checking over his shoulder first to make sure that he wasn’t being watched.  There was no sign of the clerk yet.

What he saw surprised him; he had been expecting seedy stuff – this wasn’t a bookstore, after all – but he hadn’t been prepared for this.  In place of the Playboy and Penthouse brand of magazine there existed a rack of sadomasochist literature.  Magazines devoted to bondage and torture, leather and chains and spiked heels abounding.  Women with barely-blurred breasts caught in vise clamps; men holding paddles with what looked like blood on them.  There were faux vampire magazines; Goth dominatrix women with pointed teeth leering out from studded leather corsets.  There were even a couple of magazines in what looked like Russian Cyrillic; one showed a man hanging himself, one hand on the rope, the other in front of him and – but for the carefully-placed shrink wrap one could be certain – probably on his penis.  The other magazine featured three women, naked and not blurred out at all, sitting in a circle.  Scattered among them were fake body parts.  One of the women held a severed human arm up to her face, and was chewing on it.  Eric raised an eyebrow; evidently, cannibalism had entered the world of porn since the last time he’d checked.

He moved on down the aisle, coming to the cooler, and by way of the cooler, to the portion of the store devoted to alcohol.  Beer bottles and cans stood before him behind the glass walls of the cooler doors like rows of infantrymen, waiting only for orders.  It’d be called the Charge of the Coors Light Brigade, he thought, smiling a little to himself.

God, he was tired.  He brought his hands up to his eyes, rubbed them, stared at the beer. 

Here was an idea: he could buy a twelve pack, grab some smokes (because it just wouldn’t be proper drinking without a pack of smokes), find the nearest hotel room, and drink himself to sleep watching some shitty old movie.  Simple, beautiful, uncomplicated.  He had always suspected that he’d make a pretty good alcoholic if he really applied himself to the task; here was the perfect opportunity to find out.

There was a metallic clicking sound behind him, and Eric turned to see that the clerk had finally come out, and was locking the front door.

“Sir,” he said, walking slowly back up the aisle, wondering if this place would even have something as urbane as an energy drink for sale.  “Sir, I’m still in here.  Sorry, I didn’t know you were about to close.”

The clerk turned slowly to face him, and Eric paused, mid-stride.  The man was tall and lanky, sporting a button-up shirt that seemed out of place here.  Eric noticed almost immediately that his left hand – and perhaps much of the arm that it connected to; it was impossible to tell with the shirtsleeve – was actually a prosthetic.  The clerk’s pants, a faded but well-creased pair of black dress slacks, seemed to billow around him, as though his legs were thin as broomsticks.  His face was gaunt and pale, almost a gray color.  Eric only stopped staring two or three seconds after he realized he was staring and instead focused his gaze on the door.

“Ah, there’s always one or two,” the clerk said in that gravelly voice, his grin revealing two rows of broken and mostly rotted teeth, which Eric didn’t see because he was looking at the door.

“Yeah, well, sorry man,” he stammered.  “I, uh…I was just looking for a quick energy drink or something.  Do you mind?”  He risked a glance at the clerk, seeing not agitation on the man’s face, but a kind of satisfaction.  The clerk adjusted a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, and smiled, this time with his mouth closed.

“Not at all, sir.  I’ll just leave this other door unlocked for you.”  He waved his prosthetic hand in the general direction of the OUT door, and made his way around the counter.

“Where, uh…where do you keep – ”

“Third aisle, all the way back to the cooler,” the clerk said, and Eric noticed that the man was walking with a limp.  Whatever had happened to this guy, it had fucked him up pretty badly.  He went back the way he had come, this time passing the strange porn and the beer without looking at them.  Sure enough, he found a host of energy drinks, named for everything from hip-hop singers to illicit drugs.  Normally, he would have looked each one over – probably to see if the ingredients lists contained the word “cancer” – but not tonight.  The store was already closed and besides, he had an uneasy feeling about this place.  He grabbed the first thing his hand could find and shut the door. 

The music changed as he was walking up, Gershwin giving way to some pop tune he didn’t recognize.  So the guy has an eclectic taste in music, he thought, trying to fight the uneasiness and failing.  So sue him.

“Ah, yes, the ‘Dumpsta Diva 202’, an excellent choice,” rasped the clerk as Eric set the large pink can on the counter.  Eric hadn’t even glanced at the name, but he did now.

“That’s a weird name for an energy drink,” he said.

“I believe it’s named for the rap singer.”

“Wonders never cease,” Eric said.

“Pardon me if I’m being forward,” the clerk said, “but I noticed you were looking at our fine selection of…adult material.  Anything in particular catch your eye?”  He leaned across the counter, and Eric suddenly realized that the strange smell was coming from him.  He still couldn’t put a finger on what it was, but the memories it conjured up grew perceptibly sharper; he was in his early teens, and he was in school doing something.  But what?

“Sir?” the clerk said, and Eric came back to the present. 

“Hmm?  Uh…no.  No, I didn’t find anything interesting in the por… in the adult section.  Thanks.”

“Pity,” the clerk said, reaching up to adjust his glasses.  When he did so, Eric saw a horrible thing.  The clerk’s nose actually moved with the glasses.  It was a slight thing, but in it, Eric caught a glimpse of the dead black chasm that lay behind the man’s prosthetic sniffer.  What the hell was wrong with this guy?

“Pity?” Eric repeated dumbly. 

“Yes,” the clerk said, finishing with the glasses adjustment.  “I sometimes enjoy conversing with…shall we say, kindred spirits.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Eric said, and looked down at his energy drink.  He had no memory of any popular singer who went by the moniker “Dumpsta Diva”.  Knowing the current crop of famous people was Myra’s bailiwick, not his.  But it seemed odd to him; surely even among the hip-hop community, there was such a thing as a modicum of class, wasn’t there?

“If you’re interested in hearing it, I’ve got one of the Dumpsta Diva albums in my office.  She is…off the chain, as I believe they call it.”

“No, thanks,” Eric said, feeling genuine alarm beginning to creep in on him.  “I’ll just take the drink.”  He reached his right hand around and fished out his wallet.  With his left he went for his cell phone – just in case.  It wasn’t there, of course; he had left it in the passenger seat. 

No worries, he thought.  I’ll just pay for this and be out of here.

That was when he discovered that all he had was a fifty in his wallet.  He’d neglected to take his credit card with him on this trip, since it had initially only looked like it was going to take him a few hours.  Now, he realized that even if he wanted to get a room somewhere to crash for the night, he probably wouldn’t be able to.  That was okay; as long as he could get out of here, he thought he could make it the rest of the way home.  In fact, he realized, the small tendrils of fear that were encroaching on his mind had acted as the perfect wake-up – he felt fully alert now. 

“Ah,” the clerk said, staring down at the bill in Eric’s hand.  “Not only a late-comer, but a man with a large bill.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Eric said, not feeling sorry at all, but not wanting to piss this strange apparition of a man off.  “It’s all I’ve got on me.”

“And you just assumed that I would be able to accept such a large bill at this late time of night,” the clerk said.  “Isn’t that a little frightfully presumptuous?”

Eric looked up to see the clerk smiling again, this time with his broken teeth showing for all the world to see.  It was in that moment that he finally realized what the smell was, and where he had smelled it before. 

It was formaldehyde.  The scene flashed before his mental eye: ninth grade, the science lab, and a young Eric Jenner standing with his teammates over the partially-dissected remains of a pig fetus.  They had been kept in formaldehyde.

“You know what,” Eric said, backing away from the counter and slipping the fifty back into his wallet, “I’m sorry.  I think I’ll just go.”  His heart was pounding now, the not-quite-irrational fear swelling into terror of the clerk.  He backed away several more steps, his eyes not leaving the ruined man, and he bumped into something, nearly knocking it over.  He turned, only barely stifling a scream.  It was the huge hourglass; all the sand now rested in the bottom half, and the TIME UNTIL CLOSE sign taped to it flapped in the slight breeze caused by the disturbance. 

“I suppose I’ll just put this back for you, as well,” the clerk said.

“Yeah, sorry…I…I’ve just gotta go,” Eric said, and bolted for the door.

It didn’t open.  Eric ran face-first into it, mashing his nose against the glass, and it did not open.  The panic exploded now and became a hot white heat that ate rationality and shat adrenaline.

“What the fuck?!” he shouted, turning back to the counter.  But the clerk was no longer there.  Eric turned further, toward a steadily building wheezing sound, and saw the madman limping around the counter’s far edge.  It took him a moment to realize that the wheezing was actually laughter; it was punctuated by little coughs, one of which produced a viscous black fluid which flowed from the corner of the clerk’s mouth, falling onto and staining his shirt.

“I’m terribly sorry,” the clerk said, his grin on full power now.  “I seem to have forgotten to leave that door unlocked.”

“Don’t come near me, man!” Eric said, jumping back.  This time, he did knock over the hourglass.  It fell seemingly in slow motion, crashing to the floor and shattering into thousands of pieces.  Eric, who had stumbled in the process of knocking it over, now leaped backward over what was left, as if it might form some sort of protective barrier.  It didn’t, but he picked up a shard of glass, wielding it like a knife.  “Don’t you even come near me, asshole!  I don’t know what the hell all of this is, but you need to just fucking cut it out!”

“Sir,” the clerk said, reaching for his glasses, “this is a family establishment.  I’m afraid I can’t tolerate foul language, let alone the brandishing of a weapon.”  He removed the glasses and, consequently, the prosthetic nose, exposing two caves of blackened, desiccated flesh.  “Even a weapon as ineffectual as that.”

“What are you?” Eric moaned.  He could feel his grip on the glass shard weakening; could feel his knees wanting to buckle, his blood turning icy in his veins. 

“A zombie, of course,” the clerk answered simply.  “But you didn’t want to know that, did you?”  He stepped forward slowly, grinning again; the black stuff he’d coughed up coated the bottom row of jagged teeth.  “See, now you’re even more afraid than you were before, because you’re thinking that I’m either crazy – which is bad, or that I’m telling the truth – which I assure you is much, much worse.”

“Get away from me!” Eric shouted, renewing his grip on the glass shard so tightly that he could feel it cutting his hand; could feel the blood beginning to flow down his palm and onto his wrist.  “Let me out of here or…or I’m going to call the police!”

“Oh, but you can’t call the police, of course, or you already would have.  Did you think I wouldn’t notice when your hand went to your pocket?  You were looking for your cell phone, but of course it wasn’t there.  I’m betting it’s out there,” he gestured with his prosthetic arm toward the door behind him, “in the car.  Sound plausible?”

“Look, what do you want?” Eric said.

“To eat your brains, what else?” the clerk said.  “Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t get that one right off.”

“My…my brains?” Eric said.  “My fucking brains!”  Now he was angry.  “What is this shit?  Am I being ‘Punk’d’ or something?”  He glanced around, hoping to see the orchestrators of this particular prank coming out of the proverbial woodwork, knowing that he wasn’t going to. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what that means,” the clerk said, and began to lurch forward again.  “Now, we can do this the hard way, or we can do it the really hard way.  In either case, my friend, please know that I’m grateful for the nourishment which you are about to provide for me.”

“What are you talking about, you crazy bastard!?” Eric said, continuing to backup a step for every forward one the clerk took, as though they were locked in some malign form of dance – the hunter and the hunted, performing the two-step from hell.  “Look, man.  You’re not thinking right, okay?  If you’ll just back off and let me use the phone, I can get you some help.  I know a doctor who specializes in these sorts of things.”  He didn’t; Eric Jenner couldn’t even imagine a doctor who treated this kind of head case, and he sure as hell didn’t know one.


“I’m not thinking right,” the zombie clerk repeated, the rasp in his voice somehow conveying a perfect sense of contempt.  “My God, you can’t even speak properly to save your life.  What has this old world come to?”  He took another step forward, this one more of a lunge, and gave a harsh, barking laugh when Eric yipped and nearly fell over getting away from him. 

“Stop doing that!  Let’s fucking talk about this, man!”  Eric reached out a hand to steady himself, realizing only a second or two later that he was leaning on the porn rack.  He pulled his hand back, wiping it on his shirt. 

“I find it difficult to converse with someone whose elocution consists mostly of sentences like, ‘Let’s fucking talk about this, man’.  When you’ve been around as long as I have, when you’ve absorbed as much of the knowledge of etymology – which in the pantheon of things known occupies such a tall pedestal – it becomes rather boring to talk to the uneducated.”

“How long have you been around?” Eric said.  He was stalling, and the monster in front of him seemed to know it; he stopped advancing for a moment, raising his real hand in an accommodating gesture. 

“All right, all right,” the zombie clerk said.  “I’ve got all night, and I’d hate to deprive you of all chances to think of a possible means of escape.  Shall I tell you my life story?”

“Yes, please,” Eric said.  The zombie stared at him for a long moment, the grotesque grin hanging off his face like a necrotic dream – the vision poisoned into a nightmare. 

 

*          *          *

 

“My name,” he began, “is – or was – Joseph Bellows.  I was born in the year eighteen ninety-seven, in Scranton, Ohio.  When I was twenty years old, I was killed in the trenches in France.  A bombshell went off a little too close to my left arm, tearing it off, and I bled to death before the corpsman could even get to me.  Ten days later, I woke up back in Scranton, inside a coffin in the First Baptist Church, to the tune of ‘Amazing Grace’ being played on the organ.  It was, of course, my funeral.  I never knew how it happened, but…hey!”

Eric bolted.

 

*          *          *

 

He ran, past the porn rack, past the beer, the oddly named energy drinks.  He ran wildly, seeing rows of soda to his left, aisles of chips and candy bars to his right.  As he neared the ice machine at the back corner of the store, he looked to his left and saw a door marked: EMPLOYEES ONLY.  Without hesitation, he slammed into it, and then realized that he had to turn the doorknob first.  Behind him, he could hear the creature coming for him, its pace increased, its breath wheezing not laughter now, but genuine exertion. 

I’ve got to get out of here, his mind yammered at him, over and over.  I’ve got to get out of here!  He burst through the employee door, praying that he would find an exit door right behind it.  No such luck; if this place had an exit door, it wasn’t in the logical place at the back.  Instead, he saw what appeared to be a dry storage area, littered with massive beer carton forts and empty boxes.  Cobwebs hung from the ceiling, and Eric suspected it had been decades since anyone besides the creature now chasing him had even been back here.  Or, at least, been back here and made it out alive.

To his left was the door to the cooler.  It was old, with a pull-bar like that of an old refrigerator.  If he could get in there and somehow lock the door…

He was in like a flash.  From outside in the store area, he could hear the thing bellowing at him.  He pulled the door closed, looking desperately for some kind of linchpin.  For the first time that evening, fate smiled down on him.  Not only was there a metal pin hanging down on a frail old chain, but there was a hole to stick it in.  Lightning-quick, he stuck it in, then backed away.  The terror did not leave him then, but it slowed a pace. 

It was at least twenty-five degrees colder in here, and Eric was suddenly reminded that he was still drenched from the rain.  He hadn’t realized he was shaking until now; the combination of fear and cold danced a furious clogging jig across his skin, and his teeth began chattering. 

He heard the employee door opening, and then a banging on the cooler door.

“Let me in!” the zombie shouted, but he was laughing again, the wheezing quality of his breath an eerie mumbled drone in Eric’s ears.  “I promise it’ll be quick if you let me in now.  I can smell your brains, though, and they’re driving me crazy.  Be warned; if you wait too long, I won’t be able to control myself.”     

“How about you control yourself now and leave me the fuck alone!” Eric yelled. 

No response.  All he could hear now were the two ambient sounds of the cooler: that of the compressors pumping in the cold air, and that of his teeth chattering.  Then he heard the employee door again, and through the glass between the rows of drinks, he could see the clerk’s figure lumbering out into the store proper.  He used his free hand to move aside some of the beer, then peered out.  The clerk was nowhere to be seen.  All that lay before him were the dirty floors and lonely subdivisions of various unneeded products; a cobweb spun of man, its design fiscally predatory. 

All the lights went out.

Eric started and sucked in breath, suddenly enveloped in utter blackness.  He dropped the shard of glass, heard it tinkle on the concrete floor.  He squatted, breathing heavily now, and felt for the thing, his eyes moving vainly back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Finally they caught something.  It was faint, but it was there.  A dim glow presented itself, lighting around two sides of a black angle.  At first it didn’t compute, and then he realized that whatever light it was, there was a box between it and him.  He reached forward, moved the beer aside, and peered out.  It was the streetlamp outside.  It should have been comforting, seeing that.  Instead, it made the panic within him grow.  If the only light coming in through the store window was the streetlamp, then the outside fluorescent lights were off, too.  This meant that, for all intents and purposes, the store was going to be unnoticeable to the outside world. 

In that instant, the glass cooler door Eric was facing swung open, the magnetic lining giving off a pinched smooching sound, the hinge screaming a small scream.  Then a hand – a horrible, cold and bony hand – reached through and grabbed him by the arm.  Eric screamed, but it did no good.  The clerk’s strength was amazing.  He yanked Eric forward, and Eric’s face slammed into the metal rack above it.  He felt warm blood trickling down his forehead, and for a moment he was disoriented.  But then the creature was yanking him again, dragging him out of the cooler, knocking boxes of canned and bottled beer all over the place.

Frantically, he felt around the floor with his other hand, but it was too late for the glass shard.  His torso was already partially wedged between the racks.  It was a tight fit, but as more and more beer fell out of the way, there became more room for him to fit through. 

He flexed and unflexed his hand in the monster’s grip, hoping against hope that it would slip through; no such luck. 

“Come on out, now, human,” the creature rasped, and Eric could now tell a difference in its speech.  The words were slurred, as if the clerk had been drinking for half the evening, and they had an odd hollow echoing quality, as if they were words not so much spoken as merely produced.  “I want your brains!  I need your brains!”

“Get away from me!” Eric sobbed, unable to fight the pull of the monster as he was dragged the rest of the way through the cooler.  He spilled out onto the floor, landing atop and around a heap of broken bottles and burst cans.  Everywhere now there was the sound of fizzing, and the related but separate smells of alcohol and formaldehyde.  A split second later, the monster was on top of him, its bony knee pinning Eric to the floor.  Eric shrieked in pain as the knee drove into his kidney.  Then the thing grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head up hard.   

“BRAINS!” it croaked loudly, then sank its teeth into the hair and scalp.

Eric screamed as the zombie bit in.  He felt the jagged teeth tearing skin from his head, and then grinding against something underneath.  Suddenly, it was the zombie’s turn to utter a howl.  The teeth went away, and the knee at his back slackened.  Eric turned his aching head to look back and up at the monster.  It was clutching both hands – the real and the prosthetic – to its mouth, through which came a horrid, rusty screeching now.  He saw several of the thing’s teeth fall out between the fingers, rolling down its shirt and leaving a trail of blackish ooze.

The plate in his head.  The zombie had bitten into the steel plate. 

With a sudden burst of energy borne of pure survival instinct, Eric twisted his body, hurling the ailing zombie to the side.  He got up on all fours, the throbbing pain in his scalp threatening to unman him.  But he had to get out of here.  He had to get to a doctor.  Had to get to the police.  Had to get home to Myra, even if she was cheating on him.  He glanced around at the broken beer bottles and found a suitable one.  Then he stood astride the zombie and held the jagged end of the bottle-neck up to its face.

“Keys,” he said.  “Now!”

Wordlessly, its eyes wide and mysteriously dry over its empty socket of a nose, the zombie removed a hand long enough to reach down and grab its keys.  It handed them to him, then returned the hand to its mouth.

Eric dealt it a solid kick in the chest, and was both surprised and horrified when his foot went through its sternum.  He had to pull it out, which took some effort. 

“Fuck you, man,” he said.  “You fucking deserved it!”

Then he turned and staggered away, toward the front of the store.

Toward the locked door.

 

*          *          *

 

The rain felt surprisingly wonderful on his wounded scalp.  Despite his terror, he paused a moment just outside the protection of the store’s awning to let it soak him down from head to foot.  He found, for that brief moment, that horror was overcome by revulsion, and he had to fight the urge to retch on the way to his car. 

Behind him, through the glass door of the store, he heard the monster again, its rasping scream seeming to grow closer, as if it had gotten up to walk off the mortal wound Eric had dealt it.  That broke his paralysis.  He dropped the thing’s keys in the parking lot, and reached for his own as he ran to his car.

Once inside, he fumbled with the keys in the dark for a long, terrifying moment – the one streetlamp did not provide much light out here, either – before remembering the dome light.  Within five seconds, he was melting rubber getting back onto the interstate.

 

*          *          *

 

After only fifteen or twenty minutes of driving, he began to feel consciousness threatening to get away from him again.  This time, however, he thought that it was probably from the blood loss, considering that he probably had enough adrenaline running through his system now to light a football field. 

He was tired.  He wanted to pull over and just sleep sitting up.  Only for a little while, and then he could continue on his way home, where Myra would be waiting for him.  Myra, he thought.  How am I ever going to convince her of this one?  Of course, Myra was low on the totem pole in terms of people he needed to see right now.  He had to get to a doctor.  Had to get to the police.

He remembered the cell phone, and looked over to find it in its spot, just where he’d left it.  He wondered now if the thing back there would have attacked him if he’d managed to pull it out and call someone.  That was an unanswerable question, and he suspected that there would be a lot of those in this case.  He reached for the cell phone, felt his fingers close around it, then let it go.

Myra was what mattered.  He didn’t know why, exactly, but somehow the events of this evening had honed his focus to a sharp edge that he wouldn’t have thought possible before. 

Myra.

Myra.

Myra’s…

Myra’s brains…

 

END.

By J.M. Jennings

J.M. Jennings was born in 1983 in Wichita, Kansas. He is the author of four novels and dozens of short stories, and has also written a daily column for a website and occasional sketch comedy. He has lived all over the Midwest, and currently resides with his wife and two sons in Kansas.

 

https://www.amazon.com/J.M.-Jennings/e/B004XW7Z2C

Locked In

I suppose you could call what I have: ‘Locked-In syndrome.’

I’d ask a doctor, a neurosurgeon perhaps, if I could, which I can’t, and if they weren’t in such short supply.

It’s always the way with epidemics. Medical staff get hit hardest. First responders as well: the police and the paramedics, and then the army, and finally anyone stupid enough to volunteer.

Ahh… that’d be me. Won’t be doing that again.

Still. I keep looking for men in white lab coats, keep wandering the echoing hospital, hoping against hope that I can take control of my errant body for just long enough to impart my message.

That’s me. Not looking to be saved. I figure it’s probably too late for that. The rot, it would appear, has set in, but I’m still looking to save. I always was that sort of a girl. Three blood donations a year, Queen of charity cup-cake bakes, and, of course, stepping forward in a crisis when I’d have been much better off hiding in a cellar with all the other end-of-world preppers.

But I keep trying to do my best, keep trying to do the right thing.

Problem is, this damned body of mine won’t cooperate.

Back when the epidemic started, when it was all new and weird and worrying in a “that can’t possibly happen to me, can it?” way, the doctors thought it was a virus that attacked the brain, eating away at the higher processes until just the cerebellum was left, barely enough grey matter to coordinate motion and to seek food.

Any food. Anything the afflicted could still manage to open, or catch. So not cans, or bottles, or anything that needs cooking – they were too stupid and clumsy for that. Not dogs, or cats, or birds either – they were too slow for that. Which only really left other human beings.

No wonder the Government issued advice to “shoot the zombies in the head!” when quarantine failed, when they ran out of medical staff to investigate the outbreak further.

But they were wrong. Are wrong. I’m proof of that, if I could but tell them, if I could pass on my message. And I assume all the rest of the shambling horde are the same: active minds locked in the bodies of monsters.

You can hardly blame the authorities. It’s hard to strap an ECG to someone who is trying to eat you. Or is that for the heart? The C – that’s cardio, isn’t it? What’s the name for the thing they strap to your head? Measures brainwave activity?

If you could get one of those onto my skull, it’d light up like a Christmas tree. Because the higher functions aren’t dead, they’re… disconnected. Something is interfering with the way the mind controls the body, the link between that fabulously wrinkled surface and the more primitive and ancient reptilian brain stem.

It’s not a complete disconnection I guess, not quite. There are still signs of intelligence, of humanity. When I lurch towards a victim, that’s me, or the mind bit of me anyway, trying to give that unfortunate every chance to escape, trying to stop myself, the feral, body part of me, doing what it insists upon doing.

It doesn’t work very well though. I can’t control the beastly body, it just makes my movements… jerky. Well, more jerky. Slow zombie, rather than fast zombie.

But it’s the best I can do. I can’t even close my eyes to not see the grisly end when it comes. And I get to hear it, and smell it, and ultimately, taste it, as well.

Sometimes – and I hate, truly hate to admit this – I don’t even bother to resist until it’s too late. Because I know that lesser part of me is only doing what it must to survive. And I know if it doesn’t eat, then my brain, the only bit that’s still truly me, doesn’t get fed either.

Which, for a former vegetarian…

If I could, I’d tell that body of mine how to get food without chasing and hunting and tearing apart other humans. Just like I used to, I’d tell it how to operate a can opener, or what to do with a frozen pizza.

But, I can’t. I’m locked in.

So, as my idiot body tumbles a ripped off head in its gore-slicked hands, staring into its pus filled eyes as if trying to work out how to get to the good bits, what my Sheffield University educated brain is doing is imagining piping chocolate frosting onto cupcakes Paul Hollywood would be proud off, the rest of the Great British Bake Off team bursting into sudden applause, and-

-Did my hands just move together, as if to join in that applause?

And did my numbed tongue try to whisper a Mary Berry ‘Well done’?

I do believe… yes! I’m as elated as if I’d been voted Star Baker, as if all those hours of cooking and decorating had finally been rewarded.

Maybe that’s the key. Maybe it isn’t my upper brain moving those hands, animating those lips, maybe it’s my muscle memory?

Either way, those hissed words, mangled though they were, that movement of hand towards hand, a moment of ignoring that raised skull, these are almost imperceptible reassertions of my mind’s control over my body and they make me want to redouble my efforts to communicate, to pass on this one vital bit of information to someone who will understand, who can do something with the knowledge. Knowledge that might, just might, swing things back in mankind’s favour.

Assuming there’s anyone left to listen.

And as if in answer to my prayers, there’s a clatter from the East Wing, followed by a muffled curse.

The afflicted might cause a clatter, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard one curse.

By now, the unlit corridors of the hospital are familiar to me. I don’t even have to check the map as I lurch past reception. I’ve stood before it for senseless hours before now. I think my zombie self likes all the bright, primary colours. Well, hospital beige can get pretty depressing, I suppose.

The sound came from the Neurology department. There are none of the afflicted in there, I know, and I have to-date been unable to enter myself. Double doors, swinging outwards are, apparently, totally zombie proof.

I’m still not entirely sure if the thing that is lurching down the corridor is my zombie body, drawn by sounds that might indicate a walking larder has strayed into the area, in which case I’m probably not going to be the only one to answer the summons, or if my brain is influencing the actions. I look down at my twisted ankle, at the white shard sticking out the side of my oh-so-sensible flat shoes. It’s a good thing I can’t feel the pain. That one sense, thankfully, doesn’t make it across the neurological divide. But the noise, the constant grating, the lurid colours as the infection moves up the limb, the sickly sweet smell… well, that’s another matter.

The double doors are now propped open by a fire extinguisher, which is either incredibly stupid, or incredibly smart. My body doesn’t stop to work out which and I begin to suspect what little control I have is really rather pitiful. I try to go back to my Bake-Off moment. I have to concentrate, I have to THINK!

There’s a shaft of light in the gloom: a torch, and I almost trip over a loaded trolley. My heart – if that was under my control – would have skipped a beat to see what it was loaded with. A couple of laptops, banks of test tubes, wired equipment that looks like something out of a Sci-Fi movie. This is obviously not your run of the mill scavenger after food and basic meds. This person has purpose, learning-

-And a gun.

A really rather large gun.

I struggle to lift my hands, try to show that I mean no harm, as I lurch towards him, as the cannon in his hand shakes. I suppose I should feel more scared, but this- this is the one, I can feel it, this is the man who can solve the puzzle and maybe cure the illness, or at least stop its spread. What else would he be doing here, collecting scientific equipment?

All he needs is a sign, all he needs is to know that inside the shambling, blood splattered, maggot infested form approaching him is a keen, alive, intelligent brain that maybe someone like him could work out how to reconnect.

I lurch closer, summon all my strength and willpower to drag my finger upwards until it taps the side of my skull. I draw ragged breath and, with herculean effort, I gasp my one word message:

“Braainnnssss…”

END.

by Liam Hogan

Liam Hogan is an Oxford Physics graduate and award-winning London based writer. His short story “Ana”, appears in Best of British Science Fiction 2016 (NewCon Press) and his twisted fantasy collection, Happy Ending NOT Guaranteed, is published by Arachne Press. Find out more at http://happyendingnotguaranteed.blogspot.co.uk/, or tweet @LiamJHogan

 

ZOMBITROPOLIS

Lady Judith Jane Geronimo glided up the staircase, ignoring the claustrophobic press of the metal around her and the gallop of her pulse.  Eyes half-closed, she made a game of her worries, as she always did, part of method acting.  She imagined the announcer’s baritone, Voicing Over the soap opera’s opening teaser.

“Today, the role of Constance Carrington is being played by J. J. Geronimo.”

Of course, the soaps were a thing of the past, a dead medium that had sadly taped its final episode in the city of New York well before the current crisis of this new world’s daytime drama.

The announcer in her head added, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.  Your hungry—”

“Shut up,” Lady Judith said out loud.

The man moving up the staircase’s tightening throat ahead of her answered, “I didn’t say anything,” over his shoulder.

“I wasn’t talking to you, my Prince,” she said before drawing in a deep breath.  The soap announcer’s voice crackled out, partially driven to silence by a lapse in continuity—that bit about the hungry wasn’t part of the Emma Lazarus poem inscribed on the bronze plaque stories below their present location.  Either way, she had no intention of becoming part of anyone’s dinner plans, yesterday, today, or tomorrow.

Joel Flanders moved into position beside one of the spotters—Lath, a former military associate of the Prince.  Lady Judith still hadn’t learned whether or not the Prince and Lath had actually served time together before the world got cancelled like all of the New York soaps, or if they and the other men and women serving under her authority naturally built that level of trust with one another, like a game of pick-up hoops or softball that instantly bonds the players.  They were serving together now, post-Cancellation; that was what mattered, Lady Judith acknowledged in silence.

“What do we have?” the Prince asked, his voice gruff, direct.

“There’s a body out there, coming in from the direction of Manhattan,” Lath said.  “Eleven o’clock.”

The Prince raised his binoculars.  His muscular arm flexed, and the length of tattoo in tribute to his former Marine unit poked out of the short sleeve of his black T-shirt, the image magnificent.  Lady Judith did her best to ignore the rush of arousal that pulsed through her in counterpoint to her building anxiety as one more crisis was set to play out.  She stole a desperate breath.  Joel’s sweat, fresh and piney thanks to the fast hike up the Colossus’s inner staircase, ignited in her senses, further attempting to distract her.  Lady Judith’s gaze briefly wandered, taking in the Prince’s dark cowlicks, the prickle of five o’clock scruff on his chin, cheeks, and throat at just after eight on a sunny September morning, that amazing male body.  The parts of her that were still, technically, of the masculine gender tingled, as did those transformed to female before the Big Cancellation nullified her chance to change genders fully.

“Dead?” Judith asked.

The Prince shook his head.  “Worse, J.  After-dead.”

An icy chill rippled through Lady Judith’s insides, cooling both halves of the transgendered actress who’d once aspired to do soaps, but had gone only as far as a club act long blocks from Broadway before one massive cast purge and a global falling curtain had led to the biggest gig of her career.  “You know what to do,” she said.

“I’m on it,” the Prince said, and thumbed his radio.  “Starship One, you have authority.  Repeat, Starship One…”

######

The body, what was left of it, turned over on a whitecap.  Hissing, it rolled its eyes toward the distant shore of Liberty Island.  A hum built in the air, a sound from another time.  The body’s hunger surged and it tipped its rheumy gaze toward what its primitive brain translated as sustenance.

One of the six patrol gunboats in their fleet pulled free of its orbit around Liberty Island and streaked across the harbor’s gray water.  A single thunderclap erupted, the gunman’s aim perfect.  The head of the after-dead came apart from the nose on up, fully dead once more, the threat ended.

######

There were days that she swore she could hear the howls of the millions of after-dead in Manhattan, and the millions more in Jersey City, carrying across the water.  Other sounds like sirens, explosions, and the fires that had taken down several landmarks directly following the Cancellation had gone silent, but the chorus of after-dead voices haunted her days as well as her nights, an undercurrent from an unwanted audience vibrating on the wind.  Up this high in the crown of the Stature of Liberty, the dark melody again stung at her ears.

“Do you hear that?” she asked the Prince.

“Hear what?”

Lady Judith blinked.  “I thought…never mind.”

Joel placed a hand on her arm, squeezed firmly, just enough to verge on painful.  Those hands certainly were capable of it.  Instead, they grounded her to the tangible, to a small corner of the world where hearts still beat and lungs breathed air and several hundred living souls prevailed across some forty-three acres between two islands.

######

“We can’t risk them getting so close, J,” he said, her V.P. as it were, her handsome Prince.  “If our food source gets contaminated—”

“I know,” Lady Judith said.  She didn’t voice that she was sick of fish, no matter how many ways the cooks baked, fried, or tried to disguise it under fresh herbs.

Joel drew in a deep breath and then just as deeply let it sail.  “I’m going to recommend we suspend the search and rescue part of your plan.”

Lady Judith forced her gaze away from the panorama visible through the viewing gaps in the coronal crown’s spokes to Joel’s somber expression.

“It’s been weeks.”

Lady Judith nodded.  “Fifty-one days as of today since we rescued anyone alive.  I know.  I’ve counted.”

In a lower voice, Joel added, “We should conserve our resources for defense and gathering supplies.”

Lady Judith’s mind attempted to wander.  “Next spring,” the announcer spoke only to her, “we’ll farm Governor’s Island, too.  After disposing of any after-deads.  Probably infested with artistic types over there.  Perhaps you’ll know one or more of them.”

She willed the inner monologue to hush.  Her Prince was right.  He always was.

“It’s your call.  I trust your judgment.”

Joel nodded and pocketed his shades while addressing the spotters.  “Let’s be sure that swimmer was traveling alone.”

On his way past her, the Prince patted her ass, unnoticed by all save Judith.  A small but powerful act, his touch vanquished the madness brewing within her skull.  Mostly.

######

Going mad.

Lady Judith had worried she would lose her mind and degenerate and give in and collapse before the first winter snow fell, and, surely, there would be winter white in New York. This was a year for storms.  Big ones.  Real shit-kickers.  There had been plenty of lesser, quieter storms raging, too—like the one Lady Judith battled daily, sure that it, like the Cancellation, was going to overwhelm her world and, worse, be her undoing.

Getting onto the right dose of the right medication with her hormones out of whack had been trying enough.  The psych prescription that worked had been expensive even with insurance—there hadn’t been a generic option.  You couldn’t just waltz into any corner pharmacy in the process of being looted—or worse—and walk out with a lifetime supply.

She’d let it go.  Mind over matter.  If Lady Judith heard voices, well…it was just lines of script being run through in her head, she decided.  She took comfort in knowing that most of the 700-plus residents packed onto Liberty and Ellis Islands had gone a little mad as well, given what they had survived, given the cancellation of civilization and the reality of reruns delivered by after-death.  The dead woke up hungry.  A shit storm, indeed.

Mercifully, she had met her Prince, Joel.  Joel was, for the most part, all the medication she needed to stay focused, to stay sane.

She knocked back a glass of water and two aspirin from her own private supply.  A luxury, true, but one she agreed would benefit her in terms of doing her job.  If she was in the best shape possible, the islands would be as well.

Lady Judith fixed her lipstick—another luxury, but a necessary one—and glided out of her makeshift command center housed within the walls of the former Fort Wood at the pedestal beneath the statue.  It was time to play her role, act in the daily performance of reassuring her audience that all would be okay.  She hoped it was a good day and a great performance.

“Break a leg,” she whispered on her way out to tour the islands.

######

Their small fishing fleet bobbed on the whitecaps, what seemed a thousand miles away.  A pair of the former Homeland Security gunboats watched over the fishermen—the nets had, twice to date, brought up the bloated, reaching corpses of after-dead in their haul.

Judith and Joel strolled down to the pier.  She grabbed a handful of coins from the pink plastic beach bucket hanging on the nearest view scope and aimed the lens toward Manhattan.  As expected, the city’s streets crawled with herds of after-dead; millions, she imagined, undulating in search of live food.  Despite the warmth spilling down from a cloudless sky the color of comfortable denim, Lady Judith shivered.

The chill tumbled, drawing her back again to that day on the ferry.

######

The ferry.

They’d packed her in, along with a few hundred other refugees.  Out of the city.  To Connecticut.  Only Connecticut, like New Jersey, had closed its borders and the updates crackling across the Harbor Patrol cop’s radio said that any attempt to cross the Long Island Sound would be met with appropriate measures.  Blasted out of the water, in other words.

And so they waited, and the air grew so dense and heavy Judith couldn’t breathe.  Scared old ladies.  Kids.  A troop of young males with pants belted halfway down their butts and showing an acre of underwear.  Among them, a six-foot-tall black drag queen dressed tastefully in red leather trench and high heels, her lips looking sharp in her trademark shade of pomegranate, her favorite boots running up to her thighs.

She caught one of the street dudes staring and said, “Put your peepers back in your head—and keep those eyes peeled for anything out there that looks like a slimy network executive!”

“Say what?”

“Reeks of low tide, hungry for human flesh, fool!”

The old lady on the bench beside her began to sob.  Lady Judith wanted to, had wept plenty, in fact, since the Cancellation was first announced in Asia and began sweeping outward in vast concentric circles, making TV channels and whole countries go dark.  She didn’t give in, however; Lady Judith had kept her head level dating back to a time long before the current pestilence.  She’d project her tears onto her fellow cast through this tense scene, let others weep for her, only…

“Don’t worry, Ma’am,” she said, placing a manicured hand onto the woman’s shoulder.  “I bet we’ll be underway in no time.”

The old woman’s sad blue eyes met Lady Judith’s.  “They wouldn’t let me bring Mindy.”

“Mindy?”

“She’s still out there on the pier.  What’s going to happen to her?”

Mindy, Lady Judith saw, was not alone on that length of grubby dock.  Stacked a dozen deep were cat carriers and several birdcages.  A big mutt with floppy ears was tied to a post.  Lady Judith’s eyes widened.

“You,” she snapped at her admirer.  “And your homeboys.  Follow me.”

She pushed through the bodies standing about, stuck in a ferry with no safe destination charted.  A dozen steps later, she realized that none of the young Saggers had followed.

“Hey,” she snapped and clapped her hands together.  The burst of thunder silenced every conversation, even stemmed tears.  “You deaf as well as rude?  I said come on.”

The homeboys followed her out of the passenger section and onto the deck, where they fell under the sites of a dozen drawn weapons.

“Return to your seats,” shouted some giant macho-asshole in full riot gear and helmet.

Lady Judith folded her arms.  “What kind of red tape administrative bullshit is this?  No, not until you let us collect the rest of our peeps.”  She tipped her tweezed chin at the pets doomed to remain on the pier.

“Your peeps aren’t allowed on board, now get your asses back in there!”

Judith narrowed her eyes and shifted her neck from side to side.  “We’re not leaving without Mindy and the rest of the meow-meows and woof-woofs and tweet-tweets, tough guy.”

The Asshole retrained his rifle, a lethal-looking dealer of death.  Lady Judith’s resolve threatened to crumble; it was aimed at her chest.  In a disconnected manner, she heard the homeboys gasp.  One of the armed soldiers standing on the gantry swore.

“Sarge,” the soldier said.

Lady Judith wanted to look, the other man’s deep voice that alluring.  So, too, was his image, looming large at the corner of her eye.  But she dared not blink.

“We’re taking the old ladies’ kitty cats,” she growled.

“The only thing you’re taking, freak, is an early exit.”

The certainty that he was going to kill her rose cold in the grayness of that ugly morning.  The world had been cancelled; the after-death of syndication rose louder behind them, somewhere just beyond the pier.  Gunshots and howls and sirens rose sharply in the breathless moment that would determine whether or not the star of a drag cabaret lived or died.

“Lath,” the other soldier barked, this time louder.  “Lower your weapon!”

The Asshole didn’t, not until the man with the voice pressed the muzzle of his drawn Glock against her would-be killer’s temple.

“Flanders, what the fuck-?”

“Do it,” he said, not to the asshole sergeant but to Lady Judith.  “Collect your pets.  But make it fast.  We’re all about to get seriously fucked, according to the chatter.”

Lady Judith forced her eyes out of their rigor and blinked.  She glanced to the left, to him.  The man in uniform—Harbor Patrol, she saw—was, hands down, the handsomest she’d ever laid eyes upon.  Tall, with dark hair, classic good looks, a day or so worth of stubble, eyes as green as emeralds.  Heavenly distraction.

She woke from the trance and ignored her racing heart before it could distract her further.  “Come on, boys.”

This time, the homeboys hot-footed behind her without needing to be prodded.  They hurried onto the pier, driven to action by the after-death dirge moving closer and the sad mewls and scared chirps and a lone mutt’s whimpers.  A tabby with a patch of caramel color over one eye poked her face at the carrier’s door.

“You must be Mindy,” Lady Judith said.

She grabbed the pet carrier and another, cursing when one of her nails chipped.  Her new friends made fast work of collecting the other pets.  Lady Judith marched back up to the ferry, her heels tattooing a sharp staccato on the gangway.  “Thanks, my Prince,” she said to the handsome soldier.  “Now what?”

No one answered.  Lady Judith waited, shook her head, resumed her course back into the cramped passenger section, where cheers and applause broke out.

Lady Judith set down the cat carriers, then raised both hands, calling for silence.  “Listen up, people.  We have to boogie.  Connecticut don’t want us, nor does Jersey.  But I ain’t no Jersey Girl, never was, and I’ve only been through Connecticut on my way home here.  I’m a native New Yorker.”

More cheers.  The last of the pets arrived, including the mutt, its leash held in her Prince’s free hand.  “We can’t stay here.  Those things just powered past the blockade.”

Lady Judith Jane Geronimo straightened.  She was no longer part of the supporting cast.  No under-five lines.  No backup player.  Show time.

“Prince, tell your men to stow their weapons and hustle their butts aboard, then order the pilot and crew to take us out.  We’re going.”

“Going where?”

“The only place in New York we can.  The last place that’s safe.”

“And just who put you in charge?” another voice chimed in, the Asshole’s.

“She did,” Lady Judith said, and aimed her finger with its chipped nail in the direction of the harbor.

Untimed minutes later, the woman’s colossal head gazed down, welcoming them to the island.

“This is still America, and there are still rules, still liberty,” Lady Judith said to the Asshole.  “Try to remember that.”

######

She ended her trip to the past and faced Joel.  “What did you say?”

The Prince absently adjusted his crotch.  “A shark.  The Dorian Lord just called it in.  A great white, according to her skipper.”

A colony of seals had taken up residence on Governor’s Island where, in the spring, they planned to plant and expand their food supply.  “I’m not surprised.”

At Hotel Ellis—the former Immigration Museum—she fielded complaints, the usual like lack of space and privacy, and one unexpected.

“This place is haunted,” a young Latina named Vera said.  “I swear I saw a ghost.”

######

He lay beside her, one bare leg and big foot hanging out of the blanket.  The gentle sough of the Prince’s breaths post-coitus steadied Lady Judith’s pulse.  She inhaled.  Joel’s scent, male and raw, and hers, exotic from her favorite brand of perfume, blended together, becoming something bewitching.  Energy crackled through her blood.  Smiling, she set a hand on her Prince’s hairy outer thigh.

“What?” he asked, flashing a sleepy grin.

“The dumbest thought.  If the Big Show hadn’t been cancelled, we never would have had this chance to star together in the sequel and attend the after-party.”

The Prince snorted a laugh, even that sound attractive on him.  “You mean that if the world hadn’t gone to Hell, we never would have met.”

“That’s what I said.”

“More or less, Lady J.”

Their eyes connected in the flickering candlelight.  Lady Judith fell into the gravitational pull of Joel’s emerald gemstone gaze.  “The world could be in worse hands.”

“You’re a fine leading lady, J—the finest.”

The Prince took her free hand in his and kissed the palm.  Then he repositioned her fingers from his leg to another destination on his body higher up, and they again made something like love.

And the madness that pursued her, a different but no less dangerous enemy than the things wandering the streets of the dead city, retreated another step, for now.

######

There had been half a dozen infected after-deads on the island, but in the rain of that long ago morning, they hadn’t seen them from the dock.  Mad with hunger, two came strolling out of the mist, alerted to the sound of voices.  The pop and clatter of bullets masked the approach of the others as Lady Judith, the Prince, the Asshole, and two of the military men swept the Statue of Liberty’s pedestal.

“We’ll need to burn those bodies,” the Prince said.

Four other after-deads spilled down from the pedestal.  One slammed onto the Asshole, sending him sprawling across the grass, which had gone wild and weedy over the preceding weeks.  Another landed directly behind the Prince.  Terror surged through Lady Judith’s veins, icy and paralyzing.  But she willed it to the periphery and, in one fluid motion, she launched a kick into the dead man’s gut, driving him into Joel’s gun site.  Wasting no time, she retrieved the Asshole’s fallen rifle and pumped off a single shot.  The head of the Asshole’s attacker came apart.  More gunfire erupted.  Thunder echoed across the island.

“Thanks,” the Asshole said.

The Prince exhaled loudly, his emerald eyes narrowed, intense, but also seeing her fully.  “Where’d you learn moves like that?”

“I took a citizen’s police academy class for a role on a soap opera,” she said.  “I didn’t get it.  They cancelled the soap, and then they cancelled the world.”

“It’s a new world now,” the Prince said.  “A new show.  And it looks like you’ve done plenty of training to lead it.  Now, let’s do this by the book.  No more ugly surprises.”

Joel and the men fanned out.  When it had been confirmed safe, 311 men, women, children, cats, canaries, and one big brown mutt walked off the ferry and onto the soil of their new home.

######

The ratings had dropped.  There were rumors of new writers coming in—shake ups in the creative staff were never a good sign, because in order to put their stamp, their egos on a series, new writers normally began by getting rid of established characters and bringing in new ones.  Comings and goings.  Especially, during sweeps weeks.  A wedding leads to a murder, a funeral, an investigation, a courtroom drama.

The soaps were gone, though.  They’d followed the radio drama, the Western, the detective shows, and the hour-long family variety genres to the grave.  All that remained was Reality TV, a mindless, violent programming schedule of ugliness populated by D-listers.  No, Z-listers.  After-deads.  TV was a dead medium now, like the radio, the Eight-track tape player, the cassette, the record player, the VCR.

Lady Judith jolted awake, sure there was something malevolent in the room with them.  It stood in the dark corner beyond her Prince’s side of the bed, lurking against a section of wall lit by September moonlight; a thing with teeth, claws, and eyes that glowed as red as the night fires they often saw burning far across the water when something exploded and buildings caught fire.

It was coming for her.

“No,” Lady Judith gasped.  She closed her eyes, channeled mind to overcome matter, listened to the voices.

“Today in the role of Leader of the Living World, it’s Constance Carrington,” the announcer cut in.  “Constance Carrington in the role of Lady Judith Jane Geronimo, in the role once played by Jerrel Claxton, a poor girl born in a boy’s body right here in the Big Apple!”

Lady Judith pinched her eyes.  A pair of thick tears emerged, too clotted to fall on their own.  She instead wiped them away.

“Lady Jerrel, in the role of Constance Claxton.  Only what she did with the Handsome Prince of the Islands in today’s episode was anything but ladylike…”

She choked down a heavy swallow, tasting the proof of sex with Prince Joel.  Aspirin would help her headache, but only those elusive psych meds were strong enough to sufficiently vanquish the demons—silver bullets, mustard seeds, and cruciform all contained within one pretty pale tablet.

Lady Judith swore and shook her head.  The horror standing in the room evaporated, slinking back into the shadows and moonlight that had created it.

######

“I’m coming with you,” Lady Judith said.

The Prince dug in his soles.  She was past him by several feet before she realized he’d stopped advancing.  Judith did an about-face.

“I am.”

Fixing her with a stare that was as angry as it was attractive, the Prince bridged half the distance.  “We can handle it.”

“I know you can.”

“Then stay here, where you’re needed, J.  We can’t risk losing you.  If not for you…”

He didn’t finish the sentence, and didn’t need to.  Every day, she and the Prince toured Liberty and Ellis Islands, and saw the scope of the operation that had sprung up in so short a time: a fishing fleet, livestock brought over from farms in New Jersey, thriving patchwork gardens, kids playing in the sunlight, sweet old ladies with their cats.  A tall, seemingly fearless lady looked after them all.

She didn’t tell him about the other monster stalking her.

“Judith,” the Prince said, bringing her out of the fog and back to the moment.  He only rarely referred to her by her full first name.  She was always ‘J’ or ‘Lady J’—and other names, private ones, in the bedroom.  He seized hold of her wrist.  Their eyes locked.

“I’m going,” Lady Judith said.

“J…”

What she wanted to say was that in killing the physical threat moving ever nearer, she hoped the mental one would follow suit.  But the words died on her tongue.

Lady Judith Jane Geronimo accepted a semi-automatic from the man who’d once been an Asshole and now was simply Lath, and boarded the gunboat.

######

“We spotted them an hour ago, swarming over the docks.  Thousands of them,” the Prince said.  “And then, for no clear reason, they started diving in.”

Lady Judith checked her weapon.  “Well, then, let’s hope we brought along enough bullets.”

She gazed up at the fractured skyline of a city that had inspired her from an early age in a time when she was someone else, a different person entirely.  But wasn’t that the nature of being a true actor?  Being able to perform as other people, other characters, even other genders?  When Granny Louise and Aunt Netta and the ladies from the neighborhood gathered around the TV in the afternoon to watch their soaps, when there were soaps, that younger version of Lady Judith had vowed one day to be on them.

“You’ll see me on TV,” she—he—had pledged.

Aunt Netta was gone, Granny Louise years before her.  The soaps were gone, too.  The world had been cancelled.

It was a new show now, with a good cast of players on the islands, people and their pets who depended upon her and Judith’s handsome Prince, her wonderful Prince, who loved her in equal doses of the pure and filthy.

“Thousands of them, diving into the drink!” someone said.

“That one we nailed…it was a scout,” the Prince said.  He raised his binoculars and trained them on the distant waves.  “Fuckers know we’re out here and are trying to reach our islands.”

“That ain’t gonna happen,” Lady Judith said.

“Thank God or whatever’s up there that those stinking, dead fucks float.”  This, from the former Asshole.

“There’s something at port, maybe a hundred feet ahead,” said Prince Joel.

The gunboats were moving so quickly that they reached the target a second or two after Joel’s declaration.  The body was enormous, gray-skinned.

“Shark,” Lady Judith said.

She recognized the great white’s fin, and one other telling fact as they rocketed past, headed to face the real threat to the islands—the monstrosities driven so insane with hunger in their after-death that they’d swarmed into the sea.  For an instant, their eyes crossed glances, and Lady Judith was certain the shark’s wasn’t black but milky-white, that of a dead fish.

If the after-dead had been trying to swim across New York Harbor, and the sharks chasing after sea lions had eaten of their diseased flesh…

“Prince Joel,” she started.

But another, louder voice in the gunboat proclaimed, “There they are.  Christ, look how many there are!”

Lady Judith took aim and fired.

 

END.

by Gregory L. Norris

www.gregorylnorris.blogspot.com